Friday, July 09, 2004
So I married an Axe Murderer
This morning I ask my husband David if he wanted some cereal, and he said “No, because that would make him a serial killer”. That is only funny because I was thinking the same thing when he said it. Interesting how married people and even good friends will think the same thoughts even when they are laced with sarcasm.
I told David he couldn’t be a serial killer because he was already an axe murderer. What? You say. About a month ago we were awaken by my dog barking his little head off. Now, he is not a big barker unless there is something really wrong. So I convinced David that he should get up and check it out. While he was out there I start hearing a pinging noise. He comes back in the house and says there is some kind of animal out there that Hooch (my big yorkie-pug mix) has cornered between the fence and the gas tank. (We live in the middle of nowhere on a lake, gas comes in trucks not via lines.) He is not sure what the animal is so comes in to get a flash light and turn on all the flood lights. Well unable to stand the excitement of so much going on in the middle of the night with out me, I get up and look out the window, where I see to my horror, my sweet husband chopping something with an axe. (He told me later he couldn’t find the shells for his gun, thank God, he was by a gas tank for crying out loud). The only thing I could think of was the movie “So, I Married an Axe Murderer”. Then I started laughing and couldn’t stop. Now remember it is 2:00 in the morning, David is in his underwear and chopping up some animal in my back yard. Come to find out the animal was an armadillo, and he was trying to burrow under the fence. The big bad dog had already bloodied him up some by attacking him so David couldn’t run him off; really he had no choice. He comes in the house to his sympathetic wife laughing her head off while he has armadillo guts on his underwear. This story has no moral except that your opinion of someone really changes when you see them killing something with an axe. “yes dear, whatever you want dear”
I told David he couldn’t be a serial killer because he was already an axe murderer. What? You say. About a month ago we were awaken by my dog barking his little head off. Now, he is not a big barker unless there is something really wrong. So I convinced David that he should get up and check it out. While he was out there I start hearing a pinging noise. He comes back in the house and says there is some kind of animal out there that Hooch (my big yorkie-pug mix) has cornered between the fence and the gas tank. (We live in the middle of nowhere on a lake, gas comes in trucks not via lines.) He is not sure what the animal is so comes in to get a flash light and turn on all the flood lights. Well unable to stand the excitement of so much going on in the middle of the night with out me, I get up and look out the window, where I see to my horror, my sweet husband chopping something with an axe. (He told me later he couldn’t find the shells for his gun, thank God, he was by a gas tank for crying out loud). The only thing I could think of was the movie “So, I Married an Axe Murderer”. Then I started laughing and couldn’t stop. Now remember it is 2:00 in the morning, David is in his underwear and chopping up some animal in my back yard. Come to find out the animal was an armadillo, and he was trying to burrow under the fence. The big bad dog had already bloodied him up some by attacking him so David couldn’t run him off; really he had no choice. He comes in the house to his sympathetic wife laughing her head off while he has armadillo guts on his underwear. This story has no moral except that your opinion of someone really changes when you see them killing something with an axe. “yes dear, whatever you want dear”
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I am rolling with laughter. Of course, I've been writing a term paper for the last ten hours and am completely out of my gord, but that's good stuff!
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