Joyful Transformation

Did you see the moon last night? It was so beautiful. It was still out this morning brightening the sky, after I had finished working out. I thought to myself, “I want to capture this moment”. Did I mention I have a new camera? (must torture the grandchild). I grabbed my camera before going into the office and was going to take a picture through the limbs of the tree, but alas, my camera is so smart it knew there was not enough light and the flash kept coming on. The picture was still good but it was not the effect that I wanted. This camera comes with an inch thick instruction book that tells me how to switch the camera to manual where I can override the flash, but in the dark of the morning I couldn’t read the book, and if I had taken time to find it, daylight would have broken. Well like I said I have a good picture, but not what I wanted.

I couldn’t help but think of our other “Instruction Book”. We know how to aim and shoot we have the basics down, but when we are going for a certain effect (letting others see Christ living in us, maybe leading them to Him) we need to know a few more details. It is one thing to be right and do right but another thing entirely to reflect the majesty of our Lord and Savior.

Lord help me to drink in your words, help me practice them where when I have a special situation arise I can let your word guide me to have the effect that I want to have. Please let the beauty of Jesus be seen in me.

Sometimes it easy to take for granted what you have. I live in a medium size town, sometimes I gripe about how backwards and antiquated we are. We are having an election next week (I think the rest of you are voting on something too!). The city is having a wet/dry vote. We are one of the few remaining towns that do not sale alcoholic beverages. We are also voting to repeal a blue law that only allows stores to be open from 1:00 until 6:00 on Sundays.

It is easy for me to point the hyprocisy in having both of these laws, especially the blue law when we all rush out of church to our local restaurants, how upset would church people be if they tried to close the All Steak or the Cracker Barrel on Sunday?? I would just like to point to Greg Taylor's post on the hypocrisy of the Wet/Dry vote.

Having said all of that, I walk out of my office to see the beauty portrayed in the picture posted above. Our town is special. It is far from perfect! FAR, FAR from perfect. But I like it here. We do have a bit of quaintness and yes backwardness that in endearing. Sometimes it may be O.K. to stay behind the times to keep something special and unique. As my daddy says "Come See Us! We will show you how poor people live!"

Can you believe it has been three months!! My sweet Matthew is 3 months old today. It is hard to remember life without him. He makes my face light up whenever I see him. He is already so strong and independent, he can’t stand to be held “like a baby” he wants to sit up and see the world.

Matthew you are a lucky boy, your parents love you so much. Your mother’s parents are still married to each other and they love you their first grandson so much. Your dad’s parents are still together and WE love you so much and you are our first grandson too!! You have 4 great grandmothers and 2 great grandfathers and they all love you too! So many children in this world have no one and we are lined up to love you!!

Thank you God; You have blessed our lives with this precious little one. May we be what you would have us to be for him, but more especially for You. Thank you!

Last night I went with a friend to a Mexican Restaurant. The food was good, the service was great and we had a wonderful time. It was a slow night in Huntsville Alabama so the waiter came and sat with us to talk. He was a very interesting guy. He had moved from California with his mother. They were both working in his uncle’s restaurant. In talking I found out that we had the same birthday. (the years were slightly different, he is about to turn 22..) He told us about getting into trouble in California and moving here for a fresh start. His friend Philippe had moved here directly from Mexico. He was homesick. But he said he moved here for money. They both were extremely nice and polite.

I am ashamed to say that many times I am judgmental and use stereotypes to group people. I have often been guilty of doing this with our growing Hispanic neighborhood. I am proud to say that I took time to talk to these boys and to get to know them a little. They were about my son’s age but have been through so much that I am grateful he has never been through. I read Travis’ blog yesterday on racism and I had watched a Crossing Jordan episode about an unpunished hate crime in Mississippi in the 1960’s this week. So the Spirit had this close on my heart. I pray that every time I meet someone I will try and see them as God sees them, and that I will try to love them like God loves them. Sometimes that is easier to do with strangers than with people we already know…

Monday, Monday, can’t trust that day
Monday, Monday, it just turns out that way.
Oh, Monday, Monday, won’t go away;
Monday, Monday, it’s here to stay.
Oh Monday, Monday

Today was truly one strange Monday. My closing attorney had to be rushed to the hospital with chest pains in the middle of one of my closings…… Scared me to death. I had our secretary call the paramedics and she was rushed to the hospital. I finished the loan closing, and managed to hold my composure. Latest report is that she did not have a heart attack, but is still having severe chest pains.

In other weird news, my co-worker and close friend’s step daughter tried (lamely I might add) to slit her wrist. I don’t think she wanted to kill herself but she surly did want some attention.

I also discovered why I never wanted to be a therapist or social worker, the guy I was talking about last week decided not to take any of my advice and is going a different route entirely. I know I am not supposed to take that personally but I do, I feel like I somehow failed him.

Oh and besides all that other stuff, my temporary crown came off, but fortunately my permanent crown had been made so I was able to run over and let them torture me a little while putting the crown in my mouth.

Perhaps the weekend comes to give you strength to deal with Mondays or perhaps Monday comes to help you appreciate the weekend, but just like the Momma’s and Papa’s said in the third line of the song quoted above Monday won’t go away…..

I would like to write something on Friday other than how grateful I am that it is the weekend… although I am grateful.

Overall this has been a good week. I have had ups and downs, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Hard as the down times have been I think the up times tip the balance. God has blessed my life in so many ways that I forget to thank Him for. I feel a calm coming over me spiritually. It is comforting to make up your mind about things and let God just work in your life. There are things you can’t force to happen and you have to just let go. Sometimes it is even hard to realize why something was so important to you in the first place. When it is not working, cut your losses and move on. O.K. this is strange… I was writing the above about one aspect of my life/ministry but just realized how apropos it is to other areas of my life. Truly the Spirit will work on us when we invite Him into our lives.

So as I reflect on a good week with good friends and happy times with my family, I wish you, my blog family, a great weekend. May we all show up in God’s presence. May we worship Him and edify and encourage one another. See you Monday!!

There are thing I CAN’T do, like I talked about yesterday and other things that I am just not QUALIFIED to do. This morning a friend of mine was waiting on me when I got to the office. He wanted advice on his mortgage, but the reasons were very disturbing. He was asking me the best way to handle a situation. I had to put on my professional hat and give him the best financial advice that I could offer. I told him how I would handle the situation in his shoes and my opinion on his options. On the personal level I just tried to listen and offer compassion without being judgmental. At one point I did get a little emotional and he told me I was supposed to be professional. The funny thing is the thing that made me emotional was worrying about him ruining his credit and credit worthiness (irony here??) At any rate when he left I still felt the burden of his pain. I worried that maybe I had said something I should not have but then I realized I just have to trust God that my real love and concern for him and his family was expressed. God has blessed me with some abilities and a level of common sense that I can share with others. Maybe I am not qualified to give marital advice but as a child of God I am qualified to show His love to others by helping to bear their burdens. Please God, let me that kind of friend. Help my friend and his family through this difficult time and give me the wisdom and the willingness to do what I can to make this situation more bearable

You know one of the best things about being married is having someone who can do the things that you just can’t do. Today when I got home from playing tennis my dogs came up to greet me as usual. I noticed that Hooch was rubbing his right eye with his paw but didn’t think too much about it. When I started to leave I gave them their dog biscuits like I always do and Hooch was still rubbing his eye. I looked closer and he had a cockle burr stuck in hair above and below his eye and it was totally obscuring his eyesight. I ran in and got the scissors and proceeded to cut the hair, but I still couldn’t see his eye. Well I panicked thinking maybe the cockle burr had put out his eye (don’t read this Greg Miles, but I had a Pekingese that this happened to. The bug eyes on those dogs are very sensitive) I came into the office and called my husband and ask him to please check out the dog when he got home. He just called me and told me he got multiple burrs out of his fur and that he was fine. The eye was a little irritated but was O.K. I told him I was going to dig further but I just couldn’t do it. He told me I would not have been able to get it out. You know, there are just some things I don’t mind being told that I CAN’T do. Mind you, there are not a lot of them, but I was very grateful not to have to take care of this emergency. David, Hooch and I both thank you!!

I woke last night to the sound of thunder
How far off I sat and wondered
Started humming a song from 1962
Ain't it funny how the night moves
When you just don't seem to have as much to lose
Strange how the night moves
With autumn closing

I may be a little strange but I love storms. I especially love waking up to rain when I can curl up and go back to sleep. I did wake up to the sound of thunder this morning, (seemed like night..it was still dark). I started singing this song which reminds me of my late teenage years. I know the a lot of the song is about promiscuity, but the lyrics that said
We were just young and restless and bored
Living by the sword
kind of summed up the way most teenagers feel. Those were great years, but I don’t want to go back thank you very much.

It is a little easier to work when it’s raining outside too, no feelings that you could be doing something outside. So hope you have a wonderful rainy Tuesday, if indeed it is raining where you are. If not, just enjoy this day that the Lord has made.

Yesterday was tough for me. I had my heart set on going to Nashville and worshipping with the Otter Creek family, with my husband by my side. Due to some other commitments we had made, going to Nashville just didn’t fit into our schedule. I don’t know if it was the disappointment of missing the trip or what, but I just didn’t feel connected yesterday. The word that kept popping into my head was disenfranchised, but when I looked it up this morning I think the word irrelevant probably better describes what I was feeling. (I was feeling irrelevant to the Church, not that it was irrelevant) I was reading Mike Cope’s blog this morning about coming to church to be filled up, to be served, and I thought OUCH! Is that what I am doing? But Steve Jr., made a comment that speaks to what I think ails me. He says

“The purpose of meeting together weekly is for edification and encouragement (NOT worship, as many Western churches incorrectly surmise). In an atmosphere of mutual building up and encouragement through the exercising of "each member's gifts," being filled up is inevitable.” And further down in the same comment he says “Problems arise, however, when Christians attempt to slip in and fill up without filling others up. This brand of selfish fill-up is what Paul addresses in I Corinthians 11 and 12, the chapters of the Bible that all too often get used in a context-less and selfish way! Even our set-up in the institutional church doesn't foster the community the Acts church demonstrates and Paul calls for in his letters -- when no difference exists between going to church and going to a movie, something's wrong. We must recognize that true Christian community is at the heart of God's plan for the church's meetings, and that anything that hinders the desire of God's heart must be re-evaluated.”

So what do I take from this and how do I apply it to me? I am somehow missing the edification and encouragement. I know it is my fault partially. The way we “do” church is not condusive to encouraging one another. We do act more like we are going to a movie, get a good seat, settle in, maybe make a restroom or water fountain run, then sit down, look forward and be quiet during the show. Again, maybe the problem is all with me, I know a large part of it is.

The thing is, I want to belong. I want to feel like I am part of something, a group that is making a difference in this world because we love God and are expressing that love back to the community. I love my church family, I have tried to get involved in many, many ways. Somehow I keep failing. The things I mean for good never get off the ground. Perhaps my motives are wrong and that is why I am defeated. Perhaps they are good but Satan puts up bigger road blocks than I can get around. Perhaps I just give up too easily. Whatever the cause, I know that God is bigger than any problem I have. The changes must come from the inside. The serving must start in my everyday life. The edifying and encouraging needs to start with me.

I hate feeling this way. I told God all about it yesterday and it truly helped to get it out in the open. So I share this with you, knowing that I may offend some of you and I am sorry that is not my intent. I am just struggling to find where God wants me to be. Sometimes I am sure I don’t listen and tell Him what I think. But I need His guidance. Life is too short to muddle through without a clear purpose. I know my purpose is to serve Him. I just feel like I am failing at that. Please pray for me.

Ahhhh! It’s Friday again. I have been unusually tired this week. Maybe the cold weather is hard on these bones that just seem to keep getting older. I really had a good week. Monday night seven of us celebrated the birthday of our dear friend, Kay. We sat in the restaurant for 3 hours talking and laughing and even crying together. It is so good to share with our friends and especially when these friends are part of our church family as well.

Wednesday I was privileged to take the morning off to play tennis again. It was a little cold and a little wet when we got started, but hey tennis vs. work, I’ll pick tennis every time. That afternoon I was preparing to teach my class for Wednesday night and I as I was praying to God for guidance I told Him, I wasn’t sure why we needed this class time, we all mostly work (or play) hard and are so tired on Wednesday night. I guess you could say I was whining to God. Well as our class time ended the ladies just stayed seated and continued to share. We sat at around our table for another fifteen minutes and just talked and shared, not trivialities of life, although we did do some of that, but also deep things that matter to us and were concerning us. I guess God showed me! We do need this time together. If we are truly being different in this world we live in we need a time to come together with others and share and encourage one another.

So all in all it has been a good week; but I am grateful that it is Friday.

Happy weekend to all!!

Last week I was feeling a little down after the Zoe weekend. A friend of mine was talking to me Wednesday morning about some problems in her life. She presented me with the question, “Is God testing me? Am I being punished for something I have done, or is this just Satan trying to get to me?” She proceeded to tell me that she felt like she was running round and round this “mountain” of trouble she is having, but never getting anywhere. Basically she was having trouble rising from the valley and I was having trouble descending from the summit.

That very day not 10 minutes after our conversation I was reading my e-mailed devotionals and got one that was talking about the fact that God did not make us for the summit. He made us for the valleys. He allows the mountain top experiences, not where we can stay up there with the presence of angels, but where we will have the strength to take His glory back to the valleys with us. Hmmmm, just what she needed to hear, AND just what I needed to hear. God does speak to us, especially when we are looking to Him for an answer.

Did you see the movie City Slickers? Of course you did it is a classic. I have been thinking about that “one thing”. Not the “one thing” in relationship to my life in general but the “one thing” in my spiritual service life. I think I have tried to do too many things- a little bit- and ended up not doing anything well. There is a lady in my church family who is so involved with the missionaries. I admire and respect the work she does with these people who are serving God away from home. She e-mails, mails, and just takes care of them. I need this kind of focus in ministry.

I think the time has passed for my involvement in the youth ministry. Ladies ministry as such is just not my strong suit. (Although I do enjoy teaching a small Ladies Class) I don’t like to plan “party” like activities and I get real discouraged when people don’t want to get involved in my “service” projects. I thought I had found a way to serve when we started a soup ministry last fall. Unfortunately we were serving in conjunction with our clothing ministry and that has been discontinued. I still think my calling comes in serving the hungry and needy. I have just got to find the best way to do it. And in the meantime, I am going to cut out some of the things that I have been doing that don’t really make use of my talents and don’t seem to really do anything that shows Jesus to anybody.

Is it hard for you to find focus? I seem to really be struggling with this. Part of the problem is that I don’t know of a program I can just “jump” into, so that means I must create something. Are you doing something, or do you know of a program that could be adopted by me and my church?


By the way, you want to know what I did this weekend? Click here.

Today is my husband’s birthday. Ours is a story that proves that you CAN beat the odds, you do not have to be a statistic. David graduated high school in 1975. He had hoped for an athletic scholarship as this would have been his only way to go to college, but a broken ankle early in the season of his senior year ended those hopes. He was a great quarterback. He could throw the ball with zip and somehow just “knew” where his receivers were on the field. Without the injury he could have made it, but that was not to be. He immediately went to work. He didn’t know what he would do with his life, but he did know that he didn’t want to do road construction like his dad. His dad had always worked hard and made a good living, but he would sometimes get up at 4:00 in the morning and get home at 7:00 at night. David had worked on the road as a teenager and said that he would see young men in coats and ties drive by and he knew he had to find a better way of making a living. He proposed to me on December 7, 1975 and we were married on May 22, 1976. He was nineteen and I was only seventeen. I had another year of high school ahead of me, but I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this man and nothing else really mattered much to me. David started a new job a month before we got married. He started at minimum wage, but knew that this might be a job with a future. He was right. He worked there for 25 years and was the head of the engineering and project management when he left there in 2000. He has recently rejoined this company as a Project Manager. He did not want to back into management and thought this was still a way to utilize his skills.

More importantly to me, we have raised two children and now have a beautiful grandson.
He has always been devoted and supportive of me. He has loved me even when I was not very lovable. I know that I am not an easy person to live with. But for us, quitting was never an option. David has been a wonderful husband and a great father. I know that he will be a super granddaddy as well.

The one thing he does not share with me is my faith. I pray that the love of the Father for him will get through to David; despite the road block that I probably sometimes am for him. I pray that he will one day be at my side when I am praising and worshipping our Father. I pray that God will soften me and mold me that I can be His light in such a way that David can see Him clearly.

Happy birthday David, I will always love you.

O.K. My analogy (to the spinning post below) has to do with church. Obedient worship can be achieved without you actually “feeling good” about it. You can assemble, sing, pray, give, partake of the Lord’s Supper, hear a lesson (the only optional part) and go home knowing you have “done what you are supposed to do”. The people that say this is all you really HAVE to do are right. Just like I can work up a sweat and get a good work out without enjoying it…………….OR, we can participate in worship, we can stand up, lift our hands, close our eyes, shout and turn if we feel the Spirit move us. We can participate by reading scripture together. We can share the ways God has made a difference in our lives. Just like my “fun” spin instructor, then we will want to come back, we will be pumped when we leave AND we will ask others to come with us. If all we do is break a sweat, who are we going to tell???

I know alot of you are already there, you are having the kind of worship every week that I am talking about. I am afraid sometimes we are still just "breaking a sweat". God can change things and I must be careful to not be so impatient for change that I miss the reason I am there in the first place. If I can keep my heart and my attitude in line, the rest will take care of itself. But if you are "there", pray for those of us who are not. We WANT to be!

Today I went to spin class at 5:30a.m. My favorite instructor was back. For those of you out of the know, Spin in a stationary bike class set to music, it involves very little sitting down and pedaling. Steve, the instructor had taken the summer off to work with strength camps in the schools. He then had surgery at the first of August, today was his first full day back. When he teaches, he does everything he asks us to do. He encourages and pushes us, he insist that we sing along to songs like Mustang Sally, Chain of Fools, and many others. The amazing thing is we do. I even sang some ridiculous song I had never heard today about “Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy”. We sing at 5:30 in the morning, men and women alike. We work HARD! Nobody leaves there without being soaked in sweat and yet we love it and keep coming back.

During Steve’s break there was a different instructor. She had a good workout, people still sweated, but the crowds were down and the interest waned. What was the difference? Some may say that you shouldn’t follow personalities that you are there for a work-out period! I agree with that, but offer this thought. It may not be the personality as much as the feeling of belonging, the feeling of participating and not just being “taught”. Anyone can get up there and ride and call the changes, it takes a “leader” to be able to get the class involved and push them harder than they would ever push all by themselves.

Hmmm! I just wish I could think of analogy for this… Got any ideas???

Well how about the Talladega Race this weekend? It was fun for me, because the Tide has become the Tumbling Tide and it was good to have my team (Dale Earnhardt, Jr.) win! Then he had to open his mouth. When ask what it meant to win 5 at Talladega he said “It don’t mean S--- ! He went on to use the word that does not mean heaven a couple of times in the same interview. During his apology he stated that anyone who watched racing shouldn’t be offended by his words and that he said them in a moment of joy and excitement so it shouldn’t be treated the same as when guys used that word when they were mad (earlier in the season two racers were penalized 25 points and fined $10,000 for the same infraction). Well NASCAR did the right thing and penalized the leader and probably the favorite in all of racing like they should, so his “potty mouth” cost him the lead.

Now let me explain a few things. I am for Dale Jr. because my kids are for him. I didn’t really start watching racing until they did (some of you soccer parents know what I am talking about). So in the spirit of family unity I became a fan. Now I have never held him up as a good role model or anything, just like I don’t hold up players for the Braves or the Titans or Falcons or whoever I am yelling for. I realize these guys are millionaire athletes and NOT people I would associate with in my life.

But I got to thinking. There is a lady on our tennis team that everyone refuses to play with because she is so intense during a match (YOU have GOT to play the NET better, I WAS trying TO GET in THAT POINT) coaching her teammate and getting mad at everyone. There were some clubs in Birmingham that ask her not to come back. So are there times we excuse our behavior or our words? Everyone says this lady is the nicest person you could ever be around off of the tennis court. What if someone was watching my words and actions and penalized or fined me when I slipped up? There is this device in my car that causes me trouble. It is called a steering wheel. When I get behind it I become this aggressive, impatient person that I try not to be in the rest of my life. While I am not excusing the exuberant outburst of Jr., I am wondering what my penalties would look like if my life and my words were monitored. But you know what? While I must strive to let the spirit live in me and control my mouth everyday, when I don’t I am covered. My fines have been paid, my penalty points already assessed.

Father, help me to be a light in this world of darkness. Help me to be consistent, to always reflect you in my life. Help to work on the areas of my life where I become impatient and angry. Thank you for paying the penalty for me, I know I would never make it on my own.

What can I say about the Zoe Conference? It was my first year and I was blown out of the water. Truly the singing/worship time was a taste of heaven. To be in a room of 1100 people who love the Lord and love to sing to Him is awe inspiring and so moving. When my spirit soared in my chest it cut off my ability to sing, I was breathless, but I was also listening. Thank you God! Thank you for allowing me to go, for allowing me to sing and giving me the gift of hearing! Jeff spoke of life altering events. This conference will be that for me!

I have been to many financial type conferences/meetings in my career and I noted one other huge difference. Everyone talked to everyone. No one looked down their nose at you like “why are you talking to me?” The spirit of love in that assembly could not contain itself. It spread to all that were there and everyone had to leave there touched in some way.

It was great to meet several of my fellow bloggers as well as hooking up with some we had already met. Thanks to Greg Miles and Khris Robinson for letting us be part of their group for awhile. It was a pleasure to meet Clarissa and her family, it seems like I have always known her. Skip was not what I expected but a delight and he introduced us to Judy Thomas. She was glowing in the success of her family and a very gracious lady. We met Matt Elliott and the future “lawn king”. Clarissa introduced us to Tim Castle and we spotted Ryan Porche on our first night there. We met Brandon again but boy was he busy, yet he always took time to speak to everyone. One of the great surprises was meeting Diane Cope. Every sweet kind word spoken of her rang true even in so short a meeting. It was her first Zoe Conference as well. We looked for Ed all weekend to no avail but met several other people we did not know before and everyone immediately felt like family. This is truly what it feels like to be “brothers and sisters” in Christ.

I would be remiss not to mention the Sunday Worship at Otter Creek. I felt like I had entered a place of true worship and true worshippers. The service was designed to uplift and encourage and praise our God for all He has done. I can see their need for a new building, but there was such warmth and character in this place I can see why some would resist.

Praise God! It was all together a great weekend. I don’t know about you, but I will be one of the first people to sign up next year. I wish you could have all been there in person, but I know you were there with us in spirit. Praise God!