Joyful Transformation

os·mo·sis ( P ) (z-mss, s-)n. pl. os·mo·ses (-sz)

1. Diffusion of fluid through a semipermeable membrane from a solution with a low solute concentration to a solution with a higher solute concentration until there is an equal concentration of fluid on both sides of the membrane.
   The tendency of fluids to diffuse in such a manner.
2. A gradual, often unconscious process of assimilation or absorption: learned French by osmosis while residing in Paris for 15 years.

The last day of May; has it been a month to remember? Yes. I celebrated my anniversary with my sweet husband. My children were very good to me on Mother’s day. I went on a cruise. My grandson started walking and he had his first boat ride. My preacher has left me. I started 40 days of Fat (see update for final 10 days). I worked on friendship at a lot of different levels. I saw the final Star Wars Movie at the new theatre which opened in May.

Sunday I read something that was profound to me. I read and re-read it. I hi-lighted, underscored, and even wrote my thoughts down about this chapter. It was on spiritual growth. It listed the three things we must do to begin to be transformed.

1. Stop what we are doing
2. Change the way we think
3. Start doing the things we are supposed to do.

I realized that the one I have the most trouble with is #2. This grey matter inside of my head just will not always cooperate with me. I know that Satan knows how to use our minds against us. I don’t always have my “shields” up. At least I know where I need to improve.

My point though is that I needed to meditate on what I had read. I went to bed last night with some feelings of guilt because I had not done any reading all day. I started to go back and do a little Bible reading before lying down, but it came to me. God doesn’t want me picking up my Bible just to fill a quota. I think we neglect the meditation part of study all too much. Or at least I do. I wasn’t through chewing on what I had read yet. There was still more for to glean from this. So maybe I am changing the way I think about study… I love to watch the Spirit work when I just give him a chance

Rainy, cold, dreary!

Grilled burgers had the kids over. Fun!

Matthew walked entire length of living room. Cool!

Went to the movie, saw "The Longest Yard". Funny.

Took a nap. Relaxing.

Tonight watching "The Empire Strikes Back". Yoda, warns of the dark side, continually....

Go now, I must. Clothes I must pack for work-out tomorrow!

So it is a rainy holiday weekend! I have said this before, but I like rainy days. I can sit around and watch the French Open and the Indy 500 without any feeling of guilt. I really don’t understand the below the knee pants that Nadal is wearing to play tennis in. It makes me sweat to look at them.

Today is Randy & Celia’s last day with our church family. It is a sad day for us. Randy has been with us from the beginning of our “Vision” to start our building program. Now that the building is under way, he is leaving. It is hard to accept the changes that life sometimes throw our way, but we must look forward with the faith that all of this…ALL of it is temporary. The single hardest thing for me to do in this life is to not get attached to this life.

I am happy for the Owens family and know that God will be with them on their paths. My wish for them is that all that they do will be blessed and they will grow closer and stronger in their spiritual lives. I pray that they will know that there will always be a warm place for them in my heart. And if they need me…. I will be there.

My grandson is 10 months old today. I don’t know what my life was about before he came along because now he has me wrapped around his little finger, and I love it!

I think I mentioned he has started taking his first steps. He is getting better with it everyday. Yesterday his other grandmother (Nana) brought him up to the office. His mother and I work in offices that are next door to each other on the second floor of a building whose entrance is the steps up to our offices. Well, I was taking him around to let the people I work with ooh and ahh over his walking ability. After that initial bout of shyness he decided he would show out a little for them. He walked halfway across the room! Then he made a turn from his Mom’s office to mine! He is so smart!

But, I mentioned the steps up to the office to tell you that of course he was fascinated with the stairs. The hall goes straight to them with about 40 steps straight down. Now I am not always your typical grandmotherly type. I let him go to the steps. Of course I was right behind him. When he got there he was sure he could go down the first one, so I let him. (I moved in front of him) He teetered some and would have fallen all the way down had I not been there to catch him. I let him fall a little where he would know the danger, but I was right there to scoop him up. I don’t think his Nana agreed with my methods. She would prefer just to keep him far away from the stairs. And perhaps she is right, but he is going to have stairs to deal with his whole life. He is going to have to learn how to maneuver them.

I was thinking about “first-steps” this morning as an analogy to our first steps as a Christian. Wouldn’t it be great if there was someone around to pick us up when we stumbled? What about someone to hold our hand as we took those first few precious steps? Even somebody to cheer for us when we do take a few steps and then fall down; someone who doesn’t expect to be perfect the moment we start our “walk”. I am sure this analogy has been used a gazillion times, but it really came home to roost with me today when I think about Matthew.

But how should we help with the hazards of life? Should we kindly introduce our new brothers and sisters to the dangers while being right there with them, or should we encourage them to just “steer clear”? Obviously I am not talking about leading them into overt sin, but temptation is all around us. How will a new Christian handle going to a football game when before he is has always gone with his drinking buddies? Do you tell him just to stay away from the game, or do you show him he can still enjoy it? I am not sure my approach is best, maybe being sheltered is better. But, I was sheltered, and eventually I was thrust out into a world where I had to make decisions for myself. I didn’t always do so good!! (I know the grammar is bad, but it makes my point.)

I am just throwing out some food for thought today. Who are you leading? If they are just following you will their paths be straight? Do you watch others fall and never offer to help them up?

When I was in Jr. High school we had a little newspaper that we put out weekly or monthly. This was in the day of mimeograph machines, so we couldn’t have produced it too often. We sold it for $.25 to raise money for Student Council or Honor Society or something, I just don’t remember what. But anyway we started an advice column called Ask Hazel. I was Hazel. I thought it was real cool to take the questions people had and answer them with all of my great wisdom especially since they didn’t know who was hiding behind the name of Hazel. Back then, I would assume I knew who was really asking the question (they were submitted anonymously) and answer accordingly. Sometimes I was just telling them what I thought they should know.

I realized today that when someone asks me for advice I still sometimes act like “Hazel”. I start spouting off answers without considering what the person may really be asking. Sometimes I want to give my opinion so badly that I stop listening before they are finished asking. You know I always heard that opinions were like “noses” that everyone has one. (OK, I didn’t hear it as noses either!) And yet for some reason I get caught up in the thinking that what I have to say is special or somehow inspired!

This morning I realize that I am a 46 year old Christian. I am a mother and a grandmother. I have been married for 29 years and have had a fair amount of success in my professional life. If someone honors me with the request of my opinion or ask me for advice they are not looking for an answer from my Jr. High “Hazel” persona. At this point in my life if I don’t have some true experiences and wisdom to share then I am just sad.

Today I will not offer advice flippantly. I will pray before answering anyone. I will listen to all that they say before I start talking.... At least I am going to start trying to do all of these things. But I confess, for me, it is easier to just be Hazel!

One aside to yesterdays post; that was NOT THE dress! Not even close!

Last night I had dinner with a good friend. We have never been “close” friends but we have always been able to slip into conversation with each other easily. I had helped her with some issues on selling and buying a house and she wanted to thank me by taking me to dinner.

Over the course of the evening we finally got past the superficial and talked about some deeper things; church things; family things; personal struggles, we pretty much covered it all. Leaving I knew that we had built a foundation that a good friendship could be built on.

Making and maintaining friends is not easy for me. I think much of it is because I am not a very patient person. I don’t “play games” well, and I guard my time jealously. But, I am at the stage in life when friends are very important to me. I have made new friends this year and I have gotten closer to some very important friends in my life. I value all of these relationships and finally realize that it does take effort on my part to maintain healthy friendships. Really nothing in this earthly life is as important as our relationships with other people.

I was thinking this morning though about the variety of friends, past and present, in my life. I realized that all of these people do not like each other, but I like them all. The many facets of my personality relate to different people on different levels. I know that sometimes I throw some of these people together where given a choice they would not spend time together.

This is how God is with us. He knows us on a different level. He loves us all, even when we sometimes don’t like each other very much. I think he understands that. But shouldn’t we strive to get along with others because of our love for him more than we would for our friends? We are all made in the image of God; if we reject each other we are rejecting a part of him. I pray that God will open my eyes to the good in everyone. I know that it is impossible to be close to and get along perfectly with all my brothers and sisters, but I know that God can show me a way to love and respect them and put aside any differences we may have.

Sunday was our 29th wedding anniversary. How can that be? I am only 29 years old!! Actually I did get married when I was 17 (46 for those of you doing the math). Where I am from (rural Alabama) that was just what you did, you grew up, you fell in love and you got married. OK I pushed it a little, I still had a year of school left, and no I was not pregnant, just ready to start my life with the man I loved.

The early years were so much fun. Before the kids came we were kids. We would go to drive-in movie on Thursday night when it was $1.00 per car load. That was really all we could afford. We used to play football on Sunday afternoons. We played basketball with the siblings. We would go to the lake and ski all day and cook out in the evening. We used to play cards until all hours of the night and we would sit up and watch the Braves even back when they stunk! David played softball in those days and we spent many a night at the softball field. Tournaments would sometimes not end till wee hours of the morning.

Before we knew it we were in the days of child raising and career pushing. It was often hard to find time for each other. We were both working hard trying to advance in our selected fields. The children took up all of our spare time, but life was still very good. We have two beautiful and unique children. They are not perfect; no we earned these gray hairs we now cover up! But they brought so much joy to our lives, they still do. We found we could do a lot of the things we did before, but now include the children. One of my favorite things during their teenage years were the nights we were all at home watching a movie and eating popcorn together.
Now we move back to “couple” years. Sure, it is different. We do have the children, we have a wonderful grandson, but it is great to get to know the man I married all over again. He has not had an easy time being married to me. I am not the typical girly-girl. I don’t like to cook or clean too much. I am very competitive and like nothing better than a good debate. I read too much, now days I blog too much, I play tennis too much and get too excited about NASCAR races. He is a wonderful athletic man. He loves me warts and all. He compliments and encourages me. He is very patient and a wonderful craftsman. He did most of the remodeling of our house by himself! I would say that I married very well!

Happy anniversary baby, I am looking forward to the next 29 years!!!



I wish I had some before pictures with me.... maybe later!

Thank you all for letting me know I am not the only one who has such thoughts. I was impressed and encouraged with the amount of interest in the subject of how we “do” church. I read everyone else’s post on the subject as well as the comments. I was very impressed with the people who commented to Fajita and told of how their buildings are being used all during the week for good things. That is great! That is how it should be.

My answer to all of this? Yes! I told you I can argue both sides of almost any argument. I think that if we could all just start over maybe we would see the wisdom of renting facilities and not owning them. It would be a boost to the local economy as well. However, that is much like saying “if I could go back and do my high-school or college years over” it just can’t be done. So we must work with the frame work we have.

As part of my 40 Days of Fat, I am re-reading “The Purpose Driven Life” thanks to TCS. I was amused when reading the chapters on community. According to Brother Warren we can only truly experience close community with a group of 12 or less. A few chapters later we are admonished to be responsible for our local church (Saddleback has thousands of members!). So you see, his answer is also, YES! The people who responded positively about what the local church is doing are experiencing both! Small groups are the way to challenge you and others to grow spiritually and the way to hold each other accountable. The home church may be the ideal for this type of growth and accountability. But, just like my ever growing ladies class, when you are meeting spiritual needs is growth not a natural by-product? Who do you turn away? How do you keep those lines clearly defined?

I thought a lot about my church family while I was away. Who would I give up? We have a congregation of around 350. I know over 80% of the folks fairly well. I don’t want to give up meeting with any of them. I love them all. They are my family. However, why don’t I know of needs in their lives? Why can some of them be in desperate need and the church not be called upon to meet their needs? Maybe there are families in my congregation who could benefit from things I “give” in a secular way. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not talking about being inclusive. We must reach out! But what kind of testimony are we giving when others know of people that worship with us that are hurting when we are out “doing good” in the community? Do you understand what my frustrations are?

Bottom line is when you grow to the point that you don’t know everyone there must be some structure. We DO have a lot of people who volunteer massive amounts of time and energy to the running of the church. The elders have the most difficult and thankless job around. Their wives may run a close second. I think as a member I have to let them know that I am available to help in whatever capacity I can. I think as members it falls to all of us to make sure the mission of the church is what Christ taught. Our elders are human. They need our prayers, our suggestions and mostly our support.

Many of you know that we are in the middle of a building project. I have been on both sides of the fence with this. I know that God has the ability to bless us more than we can ever hope or imagine, but I fear not being a “good-steward”. But, our elders have always presented this project as an over-and-above thing for us. We have taken nothing out of the budget to build. Anyway in the midst of this project we are losing our minister. Actually next week is his last Sunday. What a great opportunity! Now we can see what we are made of. I have already seen us pulling together and stepping up to make sure the family stands united. I know that my church is not perfect. But I know that The Church, the Bride of Christ is! It is up to me and to you to have the kingdom so firmly established in our hearts that the natural offspring will be to become closer and closer to being that perfect “Bride”.

I love my church family. I pray that God will help us all to be pleasing to him as we are about his work.

Didn't see any rain till we got back to Cullman, therefore no rainbows...!!

Had a wonderful time. Matthew is walking on his own since we left! Just a few steps, but that is great! He is not quite 10 months old. It was really good to see him.

I just finished last night reading all of your blogs that I am behind on. Actually that is not true, I still lack (thanks KB) a few. The DH was gettting a little impatient with me after the 2nd hour on the computer. I didn't even have time to post myself!

I am developing the rest of my thoughts on the church building stuff. Nobody reads much on the weekend anyway, so I have some time. By the way the Bahamas were absolutely beautiful. Skip said it well, you truly get to see all of the glory of God when you travel.

Well, I am off to play tennis this morning. I will catch up with you all later.

It is good to be home!!

Yes I am in Nassau, Bahamas on a computer! Having a great time!
Food, fun, good books, great weather, sweet husband, Life is good!

I must thank John Dobbs for the readers challenge that finally got me started on The Divine Conspiracy! Absolutely wonderful stuff!! I cannot put it down!

I probably won't get to post again before Friday, but just wanted you all to know I was thinking of you... I know, I am sick!!!

I don’t have a lot of time to develop this thought. But I thought some feed-back from you might help me. Would you be willing to tell me what you think?

I serve on two boards of non-profit organizations in my town. I also serve on a committee for my professional association that is deeply involved in doing community service. The two boards I serve on I do for one reason; to help those who are less fortunate.

As I was driving back from a lunch meeting with one of these groups earlier in the week I passed by a local church (not ours) that had signs up for reserved parking for their minister, their music minister, their youth minister, etc. Nothing wrong with that, but it fed into the conversation going on in my head.

Why do we pay people to work for the church? Why do we spend so much money on facilities for the church to meet in? Why do we sing songs like “We Have Come Into His House” and “The Lord is in His Holy Temple”? Are we the church or not? Why are people who are looking for ways to do good in this community drawn to activities other than those of the church? Why if I am willing to volunteer my time should I not assume that others are too? Why are we not providing ways to serve that would give God the glory? Why do we let our local churches turn into big business?

OK, I may have more after cruising for a few days, but these should get you started. Please don’t misunderstand, I am not saying I believe these things are wrong, I just wonder if we really know why we do them.

We had a wonderful Sunday at EC. One of our young (late 30's) fathers was baptized. He had been raised Catholic and after a wonderful sermon on baptism decided he wanted to make his calling and election sure! Praise the Lord!!

I hope to have time to get my thoughts together and post before leaving tomorrow, but I am not quite ready.

If not I will surely share with you on my return! Praise God for the opportunities granted us in this country to do just that...Praise God! His beauty is everywhere, his goodness astounds me, his grace covers me.....Praise God!

I reached the $200.00 mark today for World Vision in my 40 Days of Fat Quest!!!!

Dieting life is the best analogy for the spiritual walk. This morning in the midst of an intense spin class, temptation hit me out of the blue. While listening to the motivational and uplifting Dixie Chicks song "Sin Wagon" I started thinking of a bacon egg & cheese biscuit from Hardees! Nothing could deter me from this thought, not even the equally motivational "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy". Did I give in? Did I make the trip to Hardees? Let's just say I will be running a few times around the block tonight..... Even in the midst of doing good, Satan is there, dangling bait in front of my face.....

This morning there was a bug in my ear….literally! I guess we stayed on the floor too long doing abs. We had a different instructor for our target class this morning. She did a lot of the “old-time” aerobics. We high kicked, side kicked, grapevined, all that stuff that I am not sure I have done in the last 10 years or so. It was actually a really good work out and should I say it…”fun!”

Terri accused me last night of thinking too deep and being able to take anything and make a spiritual application. I don’t really try and think deep, this stuff just comes to me. I am not sure I would think about it as much if I wasn’t going to try and write something so what I am saying is blogging is causing me to be more spiritual!!! But to the point (obviously it is not making me a better communicator!), I was thinking about the fact that I knew the moves that she used in class. It was more fun, because it was familiar and yet at the same time new. I was thinking about a man from the church at Crossbridge who told me that the old hymns had so much more meaning for him when he sang them now. The careful insertion of a classic hymn in with a theme of praise songs can not only enhance the praise time, but the older song can be sung with a new appreciation (sometimes a first appreciation) of the lyrics. The human mind is a funny thing, you give me the same thing too often and I will go into auto-drive. I can totally detach my mind from what my body, including my mouth, is doing. I think this is the reason that I believe that the worship leader has a more important job than the minister. He sets the tone and the attitude for worship. He preps the crowd for the message to come, or else loses them and the minister starts out behind.

By the way, did I tell you I am leaving on vacation Monday? DH and I are taking a cruise to celebrate our anniversary (May 22). After only three weeks back at work I truly need another vacation. I have been playing catch-up and get ready all at the same time. I know that you are all wondering if I will wear the famed “dress” on this trip. Oh, you haven’t? Well, anyway I don’t think I am going to wear it. My daughter-in-law said that it looked kind of “90’s”. Well, that don’t seem that long ago to me, but I remember people I saw on the other cruise that I thought had been saving their dress for a long time, so I probably should bow to her superior fashion sense. I might slip in the suitcase and slip it on to have our picture made, then I could link it for you all……NOT!

Anyway, sometime before I leave I will try to get my thoughts from earlier in the week down. I have nothing new, nothing you haven’t heard before, nothing you have probably not thought about yourself, but just some issues I need to resolve in my own mind. Along those lines, I read a blog yesterday that really provoked my thinking. You can check it out here.
Later!

Last night I played a grueling tennis match. We played close to two hours and the humidity was about 108%. Needless to say there was a lot of sweating involved. We were playing against a team that cheated! I hate to say that but it is the truth. If a ball came anywhere near the line they called it out! At the end of the first set (we lost 6-4) I told my partner I just didn’t care anymore this was no longer any fun. She agreed with me totally. We went into a quiet mode while the girls we were playing were goofy-silly-crass acting. Now if you know me, you know I love to have a good time but this was ridiculous. Anyway we quickly fell to 4-1 in the second set. Then I won my serve it was 4-2, but still I didn’t care. Then we broke their serve and it was 4-3… “hey” we said to each other “let’s beat them”. So we did 7-5. In this league that means that we had to play a third set. In the whole match we made one call that was “retribution” where the ball was near the line and we called it out. But something deep inside of me just wouldn’t let me do it more than the once. While we probably got 10 to 15 bad calls and 5 or 6 more that were questionable, we played it straight up! You know what? We won the third set 6-3 and therefore the match! Even if these “ladies” were playing good tennis do you think that is what we would remember? No! All we will ever remember about playing against them is that they cheat! I am thankful that I was taught at an early age not to cheat! I am glad it went against my conscience to even make that one “close” call! I believe in giving the benefit of the doubt when I can.

In all of our dealings in life we will be remembered more for how “fair” we are than how “good” we are. Maybe next time I am tempted to “short-cut” something I will remember this!

I have bought three things that were 2-sizes smaller- Size 8 to be exact... so I am coughing up the $25.00 for the size lost.

My new total $196.95...Watch out $200.00 here I come!!

I like word games too! As far as the word liberal goes, I think we just to remember the words of a county music song… You’ve got to stand for something, or you will fall for anything. I believe that we have to be accepting of others and tolerant of their beliefs, but at the same time we cannot be swayed with every wind of doctrine, and we must know what we do believe. I am talking to myself here, I have the ability to see all sides of an argument. I have traditionally pulled for the underdog, and I have to watch myself to keep myself true to ME!
Another word I was thinking of is dormant.

dor·mant

1. Lying asleep or as if asleep; inactive.
2. Latent but capable of being activated: “a harrowing experience which... lay dormant but still menacing”
3. Temporarily quiescent: a dormant volcano.
4. In a condition of biological rest or inactivity characterized by cessation of growth or development and the suspension of many metabolic processes

In my banking life, an account went dormant when there was 6 months with no activity. This was an excuse to service charge the account, but it really wasn’t to make money for the bank. If there was no activity for 2 years (I think) you had to send the money to the state. That was a real hassle. The service charges were mostly to prompt the customer into activity.

My husband has created a beautiful fish pond and garden in our back yard. Each year I am amazed as the flowers that died the summer before reappear! That is such a beautiful end to dormancy. Also we don’t have to feed the fish over the winter, they become dormant as well, although this year when we cleared out the lily pads, etc. we found out we had four baby fish….not all that dormant…

I wonder, have you ever gone dormant in your spiritual life? Oh, you know, you didn’t give up on God, you just took a break for a while from thinking about him much. Maybe you came to church, but you really didn’t put any effort into doing anything else. Maybe you quit coming to church, you just really put it all on the back burner. Has it happened to you? Have you seen it happen to others? What kind of “service-charges” does it take to get someone to take care of the account of their spirituality? Sometimes we can slip into that 4th definition and think we are doing fine. We just quit growing and developing, we suspend metabolic (energy producing) processes.

Is it possible that if we are failing to reach the world for Christ it is because of our own dormant members? A plant will grow unrestrained if provided fertile soil. A volcano can effect many miles of terrain when it is not lying dormant. Solomon tells us in Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: But is there ever a good time to let our spiritual lives be dormant?

This morning I was too tired to get up at 4:45 and work out. I figured I needed the sleep more than the sweat today. So while getting ready I had the rare opportunity to listen to Fox & Friends. This is my favorite morning show. It just entertains me while giving me the news. During the course of the program something was said that seemed contradictory coming from them, but they were just trying to give a “fair & balanced” approach.

I am not going to debate news networks and I am sure not going to debate politics but this morning the word “liberal” came to my mind. I know the word was used a lot during the last presidential election. Most of the time when we hear the word it is used in a negative way. My church is labeled “liberal” in the community we live in, however to anyone outside of rural Alabama we would be about as conservative as they come. I like to think of myself as liberal with my giving. I want to have friends who are liberal with compliments. I want to be someone who gives mercy as liberally to others as God has to me. So is liberal a good word or a bad word? Maybe we need to know all of the definitions before we can decide.

lib·er·al (l b r- l, l b r l)adj.
1.a Not limited to or by established, traditional, orthodox, or authoritarian attitudes, views, or dogmas; free from bigotry.
b. Favoring proposals for reform, open to new ideas for progress, and tolerant of the ideas and behavior of others; broad-minded.
c. Of, relating to, or characteristic of liberalism.
d. Liberal Of, designating, or characteristic of a political party founded on or associated with principles of social and political liberalism, especially in Great Britain, Canada, and the United States.
2. a. Tending to give freely; generous: a liberal benefactor.
b. Generous in amount; ample: a liberal serving of potatoes.
3. Not strict or literal; loose or approximate: a liberal translation.
4. Of, relating to, or based on the traditional arts and sciences of a college or university curriculum: a liberal education.
5. a. Archaic. Permissible or appropriate for a person of free birth; befitting a lady or gentleman.
b. Obsolete. Morally unrestrained; licentious.

So of all these definitions the only true negative one is #5b. Morally unrestrained. Many times people use #1B to an extreme but truly do you want to be know as someone who is not open to new ideas for progress? I don’t.

(Don't you hate the way that blogger does not let you indent freely? Sorry for the way the dictionary part looks...why can't it just copy the format???)

God has freely given grace and mercy to all of us. When we measure what we give back I wonder if he finds it acceptable. I don’t want to be the ungrateful servant.

Frankly, yesterday I was going to go back and delete the last part of my post, but by the time I got back to it there was already a comment (Thanks Greg!) . While I am still not ready to go into all my thoughts yet, I would like you to read this post by Neal. This really doesn’t speak to what is on my mind, but it runs somewhat parallel. I hope you all have a wonderful week and enjoy the liberal blessings of our Father.

Today I clicked on my blog only to bring up NOTHING! Who knows what makes it just go away? I wasn't messing with the template or anything this time. Anyway a quick republish always seems to fix it.

For mother's day I got to keep my grandson overnight. This was his first time to spend the night with me. At 1:30 he woke up...to sleep no more.... at least not for a couple of hours. I hated for him to be unhappy. It is so frustrating to want to comfort and appease him and not know how. Of course he woke up in his usual great mood this morning. I am thankful God gave me my children when I was young enough to stay up half the night. Today I am somewhat Zombie-like!

I am chewing on some things that are bothering me about church. I have not fully developed the thought and am not sure I can share it here when I do. But God has laid it on my heart and I will be trying to find the answers that I seek.

You know, I think I will go and take a quick nap....

Don’t tell anyone, but I think summer may finally be here. Today is a beautiful day in north Alabama. Unfortunately I must get dressed and go do some last minute shopping. I have tried and tried to get out of that club I am in PA but I keep getting elected president. (Procrastinator’s Anonymous).

Tomorrow is Decoration at my Mom’s church. I bet some of you don’t know what Decoration is… do you? It is that day in the spring set aside for certain cemeteries to allow people to bring unlimited flowers to place on the graves of their loved ones. In most places there is also a singing and dinner on the ground. Relatives drive for miles and miles to be here for “decoration”. Strange concept? I think so too. I know it is very important to my mother and to others in her generation. I know that think they are paying a special tribute to their loved ones who have passed on from this life. See, my problem is I don’t really relate the cemetery to these people. My memories and my tribute to them is paid by remembering their lives and how I live my life. I am afraid (and I use that word loosely) that this is a southern tradition that will soon pass away. Today we have video recordings and other media to preserve realistic memories of our loved ones past. We don’t have to walk among the headstones to feel like a part of them is still with us.

Anyway, just another tradition; not a bad one, one that met the needs of the people for a time; but like all traditions, things will change. What worked for one generation to honor their dead, will not always be appropriate. However, this is an important tradition to my parents. Perhaps it has nothing to do with right or wrong but honoring their traditions once and awhile is just respect.

Have a wonderful weekend, and a great Mother’s Day!

I was just noticing that many of the blogs I read have very meaningful names. Some of my favorite names in no particular order;

Paralysis By Analysis
Light & Salt
Blog in My Own Eye
This Road That We Travel
Out Here Hope Remains
A New Life Emerging
A Wonderful Life
Adventures in Following Jesus
Laments of the Unfinished
In His Big Grip
Life to the Full
From the Inside Out
Walking the Walk

Yet for some reason my blog is named Chit Chat, hmmm, maybe that speaks volumes about me. However, if I were naming it today I don’t know that I would name it anything different. I make you no promises with the name that I can’t keep. Chit chat is what we do when we don’t want to go too deep in conversation. There are times when I go out to the deep end, but I don’t really want you to expect it from me. I don’t know if I could live up to your expectations. So I think Chit Chat fits me. Nothing real heavy you will have to chew on for a long time. Usually not something that will take you more than 1 minute to read. And truly I love and encourage comments so I think we will just stay Chit Chat. (You know of course that rhymes with Kit Kat! Sorry CG)

I think one of the reasons I like John Ortberg’s writing is that he mentions some of the struggles in his life that I have in mine. I don’t think I have ever heard of anyone else that has mentioned that they have fantasies of success. He tells about trying to meditate on God’s word and ending up in some fantasy where he is great and is being exalted. Yesterday when I was getting ready, I found myself looking in the mirror experiencing the same thing. It is not the first time. It is not that I want recognition in real life but there is this part of my sub-conscience that at some level does want to be recognized. Oh, and it is not just recognition… it is Pulitzer Prize type of adulation. Yep, if you are going to dream, dream big!

Do you have this? Do you sometimes slip into a fantasy about someone telling you how important you are to them, or how great something you have done is? Am I the only one? Does this speak to some great insecurity or is it just an overactive imagination?

I read somewhere this week, (sorry, I am reading too many books to give proper credit right now) that on one level the desire to be important was God given. It was part of our calling to be in his family and to know that we are special to him. I am not sure if these temporary fantasies are that are not. I just like knowing I am not alone in some of the craziness that goes on in my self talk. How about you? Do you have any unusual habits that occur only in your head…

I have spent a little over four hours in a car today. Tonight I am exhausted. Traveling is not my favorite thing, but I guess it does teach me patience.

Saw more troopers with other people pulled over today. Grace is in the air, and I for one am greatful!

Tonight I stopped by Wal-Mart to get something sensible to eat for dinner. DH is out of town and I didn’t have to cook (like I ever do) or worry about what anyone else was eating. I only had four items in my hand, but there was only one express lane open. So I found the shortest other line to get in with my stuff. This sweet lady had almost finished unloading her cart and told me that I could go ahead of her. “Oh that’s OK” I said. “No really, I am not in a hurry and you only have a few things.” Well, I have done this to others on many occasions, but I do believe that is the first time it has happened to me. It made me feel good. It renewed my faith in the overall goodness of people. I left that store walking a little lighter, encouraged by the simple act of a stranger.

That made me think of a card I received last week. My sweet friend wrote me a note saying that you hardly remember what people say or do, but that she would always remember the way that I made her feel. Wow! I have said those words over and over to myself since then. It was a time for her to be honored, and I was privileged to be a part of honoring her and her family, just by being there. She felt the love that I (and her other friends) had for them.

So how are you making people feel? How do I make people feel? Am I usually more concerned with how I feel? Truly, just like the lady at the store, it doesn’t take much; A small gesture, a kind look, a pleasant word. Sometimes I wish that I wasn’t driven so much by the way that I feel, but I am, and I think if you are honest you will find that you are too!

I do realize that everything I do in my life does not have to have a spiritual application (or does it?), but this one was so obvious when I started thinking about it…. Anyway bear with me.

Last night we were having tennis clinic. I like the laid back times of practice and playing without the pressure of “needing” to win. We were all having a good time and I was playing with yet another partner I will be paired with tomorrow. I am sure there are plusses and minuses to playing with someone different every week. I know I am always on my toes. But for the story… We were on offense, my partner was serving. I was playing the net. She hit a great shot up the middle which I anticipated coming back up the middle so I moved in that direction. The other team had got to the ball quicker than I thought they would and hit a rocket shot, just where I thought it would go, right up the middle. Problem was I was still moving. I got nailed in the left arm. You know it is up there in that top part that doesn’t bruise easily, but it is very, VERY sore! Now obviously I wasn’t hit on purpose, but it still hurt. I couldn’t say much right then, other than “no problem”, you never want to let them see your pain. I absolutely hate to be the one who has hit someone, and I was remembering when I hit my current partner in the leg. I couldn’t apologize enough. But it is tennis, and it happens. Coaches will tell you to aim at your opponent’s feet. Now at the level we are playing at if you aim at the feet you might hit them in the nose. Anyway my point is that I was not mad about getting hit, that happens, but I was hurt and I didn’t want anyone to know that I was hurting.

In life if we get out of our houses we are going to get hurt. If we really get aggressive and try to live for the Lord we greatly increase our chances of getting hurt. Many times we are just at the wrong place at the wrong time. Sometimes we are just not fully prepared for what is coming our way. Other times, people are aiming at us. How do we respond to that hurt? Do we pack our bag and go home, to stay! Do we whine and complain that nobody has been hurt like we have been hurt, or do we say, no problem and get on with it? I hope I do the latter, but sometimes I have been known to whine!!

At the same time we must watch that we do not cause hurt to others. Sometimes we know we have acted inappropriately or aggressively. Sometimes we know that we have hurt someone. Are we quick to apologize? Are we there for longer than a quick “sorry”? Other times we are so involved in the great things we are doing that we do not even see the people who are left in the wake of our activity. When will we learn that this life is about people? If we are going around hurting and exploiting people, what are we going to accomplish?

Yep, funny thing is I thought I didn’t have anything to blog about this morning. I guess this bruise on my arm was an inspiration. Let’s be careful out there today!

Yesterday was the official beginning of the 40 days of fat. Think about June 9th, wouldn’t you like to look better by then? Wouldn’t you like to lose a couple of pounds, maybe a few inches and at the same time help some people? Fajita started this 40 Days of Fat as a way to motivate him to lose weight and to raise some money for World Vision. I gladly joined because I am getting to the part in my weight loss where it is real easy to say, whew, I’ve done it! Then the weight creeps right back on. It is a life-long battle for me. I will never be able to put my guard down and just eat anything I want without working out. I just have to fight it. And there are always new temptations around the corner. For instance, I have never even heard of a White Chocolate Kit Kat, but since Fajita has lamented losing the same I have become obsessed with trying one! Thanks man! Actually I stood in the grocery store after church yesterday and picked one up. Fortunately I realized it was the 1st of May and the official beginning so I put it back down! That was close!

The spiritual applications are obvious. We must always wear our armor and be prepared to fight the rulers of darkness. Sometimes he will disguise himself as a friend, he will tempt us through the people we love the most. Knowing this is coming and be prepared to fight it is the only way to overcome it.

Below I have posted my 40 Days of Fat program. I will link it on my sidebar and keep it updated. I went retroactive to the 1st of the year. You don’t have to do that, just start now. Just give up that daily candy bar and pitch in that $1.00 to World Vision. Together we can make a difference.

40 Days of Fat

Lbs lost at $5.00 per lb------------- 24 (1 lost twice)
Size Lost @$25--------------------- 2
Work Out Min @ .01---------------2155
Sets of Tennis played @ .25-----------44

Current Total------------------------------------------------- $250.00

Amount rounded up because of rain and vacations