Joyful Transformation

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Well my tennis team from Huntsville is going to state!! That is pretty exciting. I have been a part of four championship teams in my two years of playing tennis. I might get used to that!

Last night we were talking about how tennis is not as much fun when the “winning” becomes the overbearing factor in each match. What happened to just getting out and playing for fun? I have told my husband that I have not yet developed the “win at all cost” attitude. I know that it holds me back some, but I am not sure when I see it displayed in others that I really want it! One of the guys I play with sometimes was telling me the other night that the hardest thing to learn was “how to win”. I think he is right, and I know it is important, but sometimes, I just want to have fun.

This morning I was thinking about this in relationship to our “churches”. Have we not become competitive? We want a bigger building, a larger membership, the “best” preacher, and the most complete programs….on and on it goes. Don’t tell me that we don’t think this way; it is obvious in the way we do things. We have turned our churches into another way to compete. Now obviously, this is not all together a “bad” thing. But we have to ask ourselves, have we taken the fun out of worshipping God and fellowshipping with our brothers and sisters? Is everything we do a means to an end instead of just doing it out of our love for Jesus? Of course the stakes are a lot higher than making it to a State championship and the prize is awesome!! But I think we must take care to protect our Christian life from being just another competition. We rob ourselves when we take the joy out of our walk.

I have always been fascinated with “space”. I loved Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica and even Lost in Space and the Jetsons. I saw all of the Star Wars movies, the Star Trek movies and even suffered through 2001 A Space Odyssey. While the Alien movies were not my favorite (I don’t like knowing I am going to be scared!). I have seen all of them, more than once. So I was understandably upset when the announcement came that the space shuttle fleet had been grounded.

We were probably one of the few families watching the Columbia descent live, even before there was a problem. Actually my interest pales in comparison to my husband’s interest. He has actually been involved in working on parts that went on the space shuttle. (No not the defective ones!). I remember exactly where I was when I first heard of the tragedy with the Challenger. A few years ago we were watching an I-Max movie at the Space & Rocket Center in Huntsville. It was on the history of the space shuttle. One little boy behind us asked his dad “when is it going to blow up?” That kind of sums up our attitudes don’t it? When something goes “wrong” it eclipses all of the things that have gone “right”.

I don’t know what the future of the space program will be. But I for one hope it continues. Yes I know that in the scheme of life, it is not that important, but I don’t think God would enable us with knowledge and the yearning to explore if there was not benefit for us in that exploration.

Anyway, I have always wanted and still don't have my own “transporter room”(Star Trek), my own robot and instant food (The Jetsons) and a flying car (Star Wars). We need more exploration!!

Today is my grandson’s birthday…he is one!!

Today I understand unconditional love. I understand a protective love and an all encompassing love. Today I also understand why God wants us to become as children when we love him. That little boy loves me. He trusts me and knows that I won't let him get hurt. He lays his head on me when he is tired and reaches for the refrigerator when he is hungry, knowing I will get him what he needs. Does he get angry with me? Yes. Does he sometimes try to get his way? Of course he does. But just because he doesn’t get the answer or thing he wants he does not quit loving me or trusting me. It is hard for me to think of anything he could do to take my love from him.

How much greater is God’s love for us. How much more should we trust him and believe that while we may not “like” the answer we get, that it is the best thing for us. God, help me to love you like a child!

I love having my brothers at home. It is wonderful to get to spend time with them.

I am so excited my son & his wife are buying a house. It is a great thing for them.

I love getting to play a lot of tennis. My game seems to be improving. (winning a lot)

I am glad my co-worker (my processor) is getting to go on vacation with her daughter.

I am grateful that I have a lot of work. It helps to pay the bills.

It is so much fun to help plan the baby's 1st birthday party!

I just wonder why it all has to happen at the same time……! I hope to be back soon! (But I am enjoying all the things that are currently distracting me….well except work!)

Yesterday was a great day. I got up and went to play tennis (big surprise huh). Yes it was hot! The heat index was way over 100. For those of you not familiar with the heat index, we use that to factor in the oppressive humidity you hear us talk about all the time. If you don’t think it is a factor, come on down and sweat awhile!

Anyway, after a great tennis match (which of course means my team won) I rushed home got a shower and headed for my Mom’s house. Both of my brothers were there and we were going to spend some time together and have a wonderful meal. It is so good just to sit around and reminisce with my brothers. Daddy even brought up the whole “chicken pit” thing. I told him I would print him off something I had written about that episode.

It is funny how the last two times we all sat down to eat together (a year and a half apart), when we talk to God and ask him to bless the food and our family, I can’t help but tear-up. I silently thank God that we are all together and relatively healthy. I know that the odds are against us being here again, when we scatter our gatherings out so much. I enjoyed a simple evening of talking and eating and trying to stay cool. I told the boys in the old days we would have been out in the yard playing softball, or football, or something! Too many trees and flower beds now, and maybe, just maybe, we would rather sit inside in the air conditioning.

My night cap was driving by to see Matthew. I think he is going to be a crew-chief for DEI or one of the other race teams. He was so busy working on his car he didn’t have time to wave by-by.

I hope you all had a great day too!

I woke up excited. Oh sure I was still tired. I couldn’t believe the clock was right, but I knew it was true. It didn’t matter. There was something new waiting. I have always been a bit of a “change junkie” so I had been eagerly anticipating trying the new equipment. New bikes, new bikes, new bikes! I thought as I continued toward spin class.

Typically Friday’s class is not my favorite. But I am dedicated to getting back to a strict program and have rejoined Fajita in a 40 Days of Fat Reloaded. This would be my third class this week. The new bikes were there on Wednesday, but I arrived a little late and just settled in to my comfortable “old” bike, to get the work-out started.

I know that you shouldn’t judge an assembly by the size of the crowd, but this morning I was a little surprised to see only five or six other people in the room. This looks strange in a room of 50-plus bikes. Soon I realized why. You could not understand the instructor as she called the changes into the mike. The music was un-inspirational and the class was….should I say it? Boring! We were just going through the rituals of exercise. Did I elevate my heart rate? Yes. Did I sweat? Yes. So, did I achieve the expected results of an exercise class? Yes. Then why did I leave feeling unfulfilled, dissatisfied? I have a basement full of exercise equipment. There are miles of road I could run if I just wanted to get out and work up a sweat by myself. I wanted motivation, I wanted camaraderie, I wanted to feel a part of something, and I wanted to have fun. So, is it all about my wants? Well if I give up an hour and a half of sleep, yes, it is about my wants.

What is my point? New equipment, new songs, a new building, a new preacher, none of these things will motivate and inspire a group for long. Sure, they might get someone there the first time, but it takes more to keep them coming back. Most people don’t want to be entertained or catered to, they want to belong! They want to feel like they are part of something that is vibrant and alive, not just attending something that they can slip in and out of without anybody noticing.

As I said, I am a “change-junkie”. We are in the midst of a building project and a search for a new minister. I get very excited about the prospects of both, but I must use caution. These are not the things that will make the church a stronger more “Jesus-like” place. The change that really matters has nothing to do with either of these variables and has everything to do with how much of a community we are willing to be. Am I doing my part to make that happen? Are you?

It has been a great week for finding God in nature. You know of my love affair with the moon; then this afternoon-after being rained out of my tennis match in Huntsville- I saw an incredible rainbow. You know how usually you can only see one side of it, well I could see the complete bow. The most amazing thing is that this is the third one I have seen in the last two weeks.

Tonight as David and I were coming home from grabbing a hamburger the clouds in the western sky were an incredible bright pink! Thank you God for all the ways you color my world.

I am running around chasing my tail….Do you know the feeling? As I told you earlier my younger brother and his family are home for two weeks. My older brother is getting here this weekend with his family for four or five days. In the meantime, Derek and Mary are buying a house, Diana is still going to the fertility doctor and having new floors put in her house. Starting this past Sunday I have 9 scheduled tennis matches and one make up match to play in 10 days! David is buying a new truck and I have a lot of loans to close by the end of the month! No wonder I am tired…and brain dead.

I did sleep better last night (5-1/2 hours worth), but my internal clock woke me up at 1:00 to go look at the moon! In addition the humidity around here is about 200%. I had rivulets of water flowing down the front of my shins last night!

I am not complaining, just explaining that I don’t have a lot of time or energy for deep or even humurous thoughts! Later dudes!

Did you see the moon last night? Wow! I had trouble falling back asleep last night and I was thinking about the lights that God had blessed our world with. The sun is so incredible, but we normally speak of its beauty more when it is rising and setting (especially in JULY in ALABAMA). But the moon is in its splendor when it is fully risen and ruling over the night sky. (Actually it is the most beautiful to me around 1:00 or 2:00 a.m. and unfortunately I was out gazing at it last night.)

As I watched the light bounce off the slight ripples in the lake, I wondered what kind of light I am. Am I the kind of light that people depend on to live? Nah; and I know that I am not the kind of light that people get tired of because it is so intense. I would like to be the kind of light that radiates the beauty and the mystery of the Christian life that I am living, but I am afraid the only light of God I can compare myself to is that of a firefly. I twinkle once in awhile and maybe somebody will notice, but I can’t seem to maintain a constant glow.

I don’t know why God structured the universe in a way that the moon is visible only part of the month. But I do know that when it is out we notice. Perhaps I can take comfort in the light of the moon; I can’t always be the bright light that I want to be, but when I do shine I can reflect the true light, the light of the Son

Yesterday our song leader mentioned lyrics of a song that made him think of his church family (he recently lost his dad). The lyrics were “Shower the people you love with love, show them the way that you feel”. I was thinking of that this morning in spin class and wondered if there were song titles or lyrics to describe who we are, where we are and what we are doing. I came up with the following;

Tennis: Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head
Work: I’m in a hurry to get things done- Taking Care of Business
Home: When will I see you again.
Matthew: Precious & Few, Oh how happy you have made me.
Exercise: Stop! In the name of love.

My spiritual life is filled with highs and lows. I don’t know if many of you can relate but all of these songs describe “my walk”.
-Running on Empty
-I’m getting closer to my home
-All shook up
-Greatest Love
-Best of my love

How about you? What is your “song” feeling today?

Last weekend we took down our Flag before the storm (Dennis) came. David and I were folding it in the prescribed way when he asked me “did you know this is how you are supposed to fold it?” Yes, I knew.

When I was in high school it was often my task to lower and raise the flag. I don’t remember if it was Student Council officers or who that did this, but I know that I was involved. I am not sure that I would remember this, but one afternoon me and my friend Charlotte were just about finished folding the flag up when my Dad came running up to me on the school grounds. Now, he drove a school bus in the afternoons, so it was not that strange for him to be on school grounds just odd that he was approaching me in such a state of hurry. Well, as suspected he was not bringing good news. My uncle had died of a heart attack in his country store earlier that day. Dad wanted me to pick up my cousins, my uncle’s grandchildren, and take them home. “Do they know?” I asked. “I doubt it, you need to tell them.” Great! I am 18 years old, how was I going to handle this. I found my cousin Denise and told her as calmly as possible. She didn’t take it too well, but we had to go to the Jr. High school 10 miles away and pick up her younger brother and sister, so she made an effort to stay calm. In an effort to keep the younger children calm they were told at school that he had a heart attack and was at the hospital. So now they are questioning me; “Could he be alive?” How was I supposed to know? I just told them let’s get to their Grandma’s house and we could all find out……Of course, it was true. He was gone. I grew up a lot that day. I had to go to the drugstore for my aunt and other tasks that normally an adult would do. That day I was treated as an adult. Inside my guts told me I was a kid and I just wanted to go sit with my Mom, but I knew I had to be strong.

My Mom’s family was 5 boys and 5 girls. Uncle Amos was the third oldest child but the first to die. My grandmother was bed-ridden at the time, but she knew. I had little experience in going to funerals at this time in my life but the other two I could remember were very emotional. My Grandpa, my Dad’s dad died when I was 12. I had never seen my dad cry before then; this was a hard on a little girl. When I was 16 my 5th grade teacher, my first male teacher (so of course we all had a crush on him) died from a brain tumor. He was only 27 and left two small children. This funeral was extremely traumatic as his wife followed the coffin out of the church building crying “no, no. no!” This experience was going to be equally dramatic. Somebody ordered one of those “Missing-Spoke” flower arrangements. That was the saddest thing I had ever seen. I will never forget my big strong uncles as well as my formidable aunts breaking down and sobbing when they brought this in.

Funerals since that time while sad have never been as emotionally devastating. Sadly it almost becomes routine in our lives. Well, I guess it is routine, we are a dying people, we will continue to tell our loved ones good-bye until Jesus comes back. The youngest five children in my mother’s family are all that is left. My Mom called this morning to tell me one of my uncles is in very bad shape. It is very possible we will be telling him good-bye soon.

Folding a flag caused all of those memories to flood over me last weekend. Mom’s call reminded me of the memories this morning. Today I miss the innocence of the girl who went out to take the flag down.

Thanks everyone for your comments and well wishes. I know that God can work this situation for good, I just have to be diligent to pray about it.

Normally the drive to Atlanta airport is about 2 ½ hours from here. At my husband’s request I was leaving plenty early to give myself some extra time. I did realize that I had forgotten to bring my book, so I stopped by Wal-Mart and bought a paper back (Kellerman's "Double Homicide") and a book on cd (The Rising) to keep me company (I am the queen of multi-tasking). Turns out the hubby was wise as the 2 ½ hour drive took closer to 3 ½ hours due to heavy rains and slow traffic. I even finished the book on tape. I arrived in Atlanta with only about 30 minutes to spare and I was getting antsy. As I found the correct baggage claim area and checked the flight arrival time it was 2 ½ hours later than what the original flight plan called for. That was bad, but at least I had brought a book. When it got close to time for them to be half way I went back to check the board again only to find the flight had been delayed again and still had not left the ground in Philadelphia. OK at this point I am starting to feel like Tom Hanks in Terminal. I break into the bag of Hershey’s Nuggets I had bought at Wal-Mart to share with the kids. I am sure people are starting to recognize me. I got some pizza! I wasn’t that hungry but I was tired of sitting still. Later still I tried some Espresso; it was pretty good but leaves a horrible taste in my mouth, so I have to seek out a Diet Coke. Sixteen chapters, five hours, and 2000 calories later their flight finally arrives. As tired as I am I know that they are exhausted. They left Venice roughly 29 hours earlier. I had to think of JettyBetty and her love for flying…because at this point I was not loving being stuck in this airport.

But I delivered them safely to my Mom & Dad’s house around 2:00 a.m. Yes, I am working today; no I am not very alert! I told one customer she could not hold me to anything I said today!

It was fun talking with my brother all the way home. It was great to see all of them. I had to fight off waves of weepy-ness, I am pretty sure most of that was just fatigue. But I was struck with the sadness of families having to live apart for extended periods of time. I am trying to look at all of this in a positive way, but today I am too tired! Maybe I should shut up before I type something I have to retract. See ya’ll later!

I haven’t seen my younger brother in a year and a half now. I was trying to remember if I had talked to him…I don’t think so. We e-mail frequently, but somehow it is not the same. I am going to Atlanta to pick him up at the airport this afternoon. Bruce went in the Air Force 24 years ago. Other than a 4 year stay at Homestead Florida, he has been stationed in Europe all of those years. I have missed having him around.

Around 18 years ago he surprised me and my parents by telling us he was getting married. It was his first tour of duty in Italy and he had met an Italian girl at church. He and Carla married and have two wonderful children (well they are teenagers now, does that count as children?). There have been some interesting times in their marriage with the communication barrier. Carla learned English in school and Bruce was learning Italian hands on. One day when they had been married less than a year Bruce came home from work and Carla told him “I want an affair”. Being young and confused he tried to talk to her and find out what the real problem was. When he questioned her intent he found out that she really wanted a job, she had just mistranslated the word…. Ah communication!

Other than their one stay in Homestead when they were first married, they have lived within driving distance of her parents. The longest distance from Italy would have been when they lived in Germany. Around 6 years ago they bought a house in the same town as her parents when Bruce was moved back to Aviano Air Force Base. But now for Bruce to earn his final promotion and to stay in long enough to finish his degree he must take a State side assignment. So at the end of this visit Bruce will be heading to Arizona. Sadly, Carla and the children are going back to Italy. Nobody is mad, there are no hidden issues; she just does not want to leave her home and her parents.

What will happen when he retires in four years? I don’t know. I know that he will be lonely here by himself. I hope that they will miss him. I pray that things will work out to where their marriage is saved and their home is reunited. The kids are 16 and 15 and have been in Italian schools. I understand wanting continuity for them.

So this visit is bittersweet. I am so happy to have my brother home for a while and back in the States, but I know that this will be a truly trying time for him. I know too that there is a possibility that I may not see or here from my sister in law and my niece and nephew for a very long time. Life is seldom easy, relationships rarely occur without heartache. How beautiful heaven will be!

Praise God, the storm, Dennis the Menace, did weaken, did cause less damage than thought, missed us pretty much all together and testifies to the power of God. I truly believe he can stop or weaken a storm, I truly believe that he did!

Dale Jr. finally won a race in the #8 car. Unfortunately I was watching it in a 3 X 3 square as most of the TV coverage was on the storm. Imagine, more people caring about getting blown away than a race, I know it is hard to fathom! I was just grateful for the small screen, and the long awaited victory!

Have I mentioned lately that I love my church family? Every relationship, every friendship there is different and yet they are all centered in the love for our Savior. I love having time to spend with my brothers and sisters. I am extremely blessed, I pray that I return that blessing.

We are bracing for the impact that Hurricane Dennis will have on our state. This morning as we prepared for the Lord’s Supper the man presiding mentioned when Jesus calmed the storm after being asleep on the boat. I started thinking. The storm for the disciples was scary. They thought they were going to die. He told his disciples that they had “little faith”. You know, this same Jesus is in charge of the world today. Do we have faith to believe that he could make this storm go away? How many of us prayed today for the storm to “go away”? I confess, my prayer was for the storm to lessen, not to go away. Why? I know my faith is weak. I pray for more faith. Do you have enough faith to pray for the hurricane to stop?

The guy is on his way to fix our internet woes at home! Hopefully I will be back up and running later today. In the meantime I had to stop by the office today so I thought I would check in on blog-world.

Last night I played one of the most interesting tennis matches of my life. First of all, I am playing with a guy who is ranked two levels higher than me. He is a 4.00 and I am a 3.00. We are playing in a 7.00 league so that is good. But, the team we were playing against had to be sand-bagging. The guy was easily a 4.00 and the girl a 3.50 if not a 4.00 so I started off a little intimidated. I don’t think I properly returned one of his serves until about the third service game for him. Well, mostly because of my intimidation we dropped the first set 6-3. Shortly thereafter it began to rain. Then it started raining harder! OK these people wanted to keep playing. The other five courts had cleared and headed for shelter, but not us, we just kept on playing. The funny thing is, somehow when I was soaked and the ball was as heavy as a baseball, I realized I was just going to play my best and have fun. The intimidation factor left and I started playing better. The second set went to a tie-break and we won! The third set went to a tie-break, but we lost. However, I left the courts knowing that I could play with these people, when we started I was not too sure. The puddles on the courts made for some interesting shots, the ball would take off like a rocket when it bounced in one of these puddles. So while I am not sure you would classify what we did as tennis, we did play in the rain, we did have a lot of fun, and I did feel young and carefree….at least until I sat down in the car and realized how exhausted I was. But it was GREAT!

Life is like that sometimes. The greatest joys are found in what others might call an unfortunate turn of events. The very thing that caused others to quit playing helped me to play up to my potential. I hope I can take that lesson off of the tennis courts and find the uncovered treasures in all of life’s detours.

Living on purpose is not all that easy. It is so easy to be distracted by work, play, TV, the Braves (how ‘bout those rookies!) and just fatigue. But I did have a memorable day marked with exciting events.

1. My son and his wife have made an offer on a house. That is so exciting for them.
2. The girl in the office next to mine (different employer) had her baby yesterday.
3. I practiced tennis and actually worked on a shot that had been giving me trouble.
4. My daughter and I took some lunch by my son’s house. Matthew was just waking up from a nap and he was in a GREAT mood. He smiled and laughed and babbled and hugged me….How does life get sweeter than that?
   

So, life is good. I am still behind on my stack at work. My office is not the organized, efficient place I dream of it being. I was too tired to read or to write in my prayer journal when I got home last night. But it was a good day and today is going to be even better!

In light of yesterday’s tragedy, one of the blogs I read regularly spoke of living for today. He asks the question and I will ask you, what are you putting off or waiting to enjoy tomorrow?

If you have read my blog very long you know that I am not a political activist. I basically avoid politics like the plague. This morning I am sickened and saddened by the events in London. I could not keep the tears out of my eyes long enough to keep my eye-makeup from running. I am just grateful that this world is not my home and there is something so much better prepared for me and my family…all of my family, which means you guys too!

Inspired by Fajita’s New Year theme verses resolution (his was URGE- Utilize, Remember, Give & Explore), I have been trying to come up with one of my own. (BTW I am jumping on the 40 Day Samarian Run- starting today!)

I did 40 days of Purpose with the last 40 Days of Fat and am currently involved in a study of that book with a small group of ladies. So I knew that one of my main “mid-year” goals was to live life on purpose. With that in mind I have come up with my own theme: PASS

Purpose
Action
Simplify
Sacrifice

Daily I will try to remember to PASS (those of you who have ridden in a car with me know that I love to do that!) I will try to remember my purpose each day. I will also try and do everything I do “on purpose”. I hate it when I have gone through a day or week and can’t remember one significant thing that I have done. I don’t plan to do that anymore!

Then I will turn my good intentions into action. I am guilty of being able to talk a “good game”. There are always a million reasons (OK excuses) for me not getting around to doing anything. “A little less talk and a lot more ACTION” will be my theme song.

Simplifying my life seems to be a recurring goal of mine. Obviously there is still much work to do in this area. While I will say I have improved, I am not there. This will go to saying NO to things, and to handling things NOW and not later. (I am going to need a lot of prayer on this one!)

Sacrifice; man that is a tough word. I do believe the sins that get in my way too much of the time are pride and selfishness. Sacrificing my wants, my comfort, my TIME and my money are the best cures for these problem areas.

So that is my theme for the rest of 2005! Will you help hold me accountable? Will you join me and start your own mid-year theme?

Well, I wonder, do blog readers miss someone who normally posts almost daily if they miss 4 or 5 straight days, or do they just quit checking? It seems like an eternity to me since I have been out in blog-land but in actuality not even a full week has passed!

This morning on the way to work I was noticing road construction signs that had been up for over three months now. They were actually working on our road for a couple of weeks at the end of May and it is obvious they are not finished, but I wondered why they didn’t take the signs down. After all, you know that when you see the same sign warning you of something day after day, but you never experience what the sign is warning you of, you start ignoring the signs. I couldn’t help but think about the “hell, fire and brimstone” preaching of the 60’s and 70’s and the fact that people will not remain scared, warned or worried for long periods of time. The preaching of the dangers of hell without teaching of God’s love for us and the way Jesus showed us how to love others, will not have a long term effect of changing people. Human beings tend to ignore danger signs when we go through a substantial length of time without encountering any real danger.

On the flip side, failing to talk about hell and punishment for those who do not know God, does not make its existence any less real. It should not relieve us of the concern for our loved ones who will end up there if they don’t give their lives to God.

As I was developing this thought, driving down the road, suddenly a truck appeared with a flagman holding up a “STOP” sign. Seems they had restarted the construction process. Yes, even though the signs had been up for a while, today the danger they warned of was very real. I am continually amazed at the way God talks to me when I just take the time to listen.

Man! It is July! How did that happen so fast? Just yesterday I was posting the 12 days of Christmas! “Swiftly we’re turning life’s daily pages..”

OK, I don’t have time for the beautifully worded, thought provoking post that I wanted to write today, so instead……

It is time for our Second Annual Mid-Year Resolutions!!! You will have time to work on this because I probably want be back until Wednesday (back to blog world that is). So your assignment is to review the preceding half year. What did you resolve to do in January that you still haven’t quite got control of? Or maybe you refuse to make New Year’s resolutions but now have thought of some things you really need to do. Start the thinking, start the jotting down, get ready, get set….GO!

Oh, the one resolution that I have made marked progress in is only handling paper one time. I still have a long, long way to go, but I am doing much better. On the spiritual front I decided (resolved) to camp in the gospels for a while. I have done well at that. I will come back next week with the things I have not done so well, and the things I want to resolve to do for the rest of the year.

Happy Independence Day everyone! For my many international readers, I hope you have an enjoyable weekend as well!