Monday, August 23, 2004
More or Less
This is one of those days I am not sure that I have anything to say. There is a lot on my heart but I am not sure I have words to express it. My life is so blessed in so many ways, I have a great family, a good job, a very nice place to live and good health. God has blessed me with enough intellect to make me dangerous, yet not enough to make me cocky. Sometimes I think I over-think things. I want things to be a certain way to have certain results from events and when that does not occur I analyze and re-analyze what the possible culprits were. Most of this is meaningless. Things happen, hearts aren’t open, people aren’t on the same page.
My brother is still struggling with the potential split in his church family in Italy. Peace is such a blessing. Yet there are times when I leave my Church family wanting more. This is probably more a failing in me than in the family, yet it is there. I feel very petty when my brother e-mails me with real problems in his church, yet I can’t deny that the feeling is there. Perhaps the discontent comes with knowing what is out there, knowing the way that worship is done where you experience it with your whole being including your emotions. I have a wonderful church family and I love them all, I truly do. But, there is a longing inside of me for more. I can’t put a name to it, I can’t even describe it, but I know what it is. I pray that God will help me work on my heart where I can feel His presence no matter where I am, where I can worship Him with my spirit, knowing that He wants so much more from me than what I do on Sunday morning. He wants my life, and I try so hard to give it all to Him, I just can’t completely let go. God, help me let go
My brother is still struggling with the potential split in his church family in Italy. Peace is such a blessing. Yet there are times when I leave my Church family wanting more. This is probably more a failing in me than in the family, yet it is there. I feel very petty when my brother e-mails me with real problems in his church, yet I can’t deny that the feeling is there. Perhaps the discontent comes with knowing what is out there, knowing the way that worship is done where you experience it with your whole being including your emotions. I have a wonderful church family and I love them all, I truly do. But, there is a longing inside of me for more. I can’t put a name to it, I can’t even describe it, but I know what it is. I pray that God will help me work on my heart where I can feel His presence no matter where I am, where I can worship Him with my spirit, knowing that He wants so much more from me than what I do on Sunday morning. He wants my life, and I try so hard to give it all to Him, I just can’t completely let go. God, help me let go
