Thursday, November 04, 2004
Drifting Along...
Last night I was teaching a ladies class on Fear of Satan. I had read Joe Beam’s book last spring on spiritual warfare; “Seeing the Unseen” and I dug in my heels and studied hard for this class. The first time I read this book it scared me to death. Now I read it with a little more objectivity and knowing what he is going to say helps me look at it more logically and less emotionally. Yet, when preparing for this class I had the strangest things happen to me. One night when I was studying right before bed I had a dream that I was involved in a sin up to my eyeballs! In the dream the sin was enjoyable and pleasurable! It is also an area I have struggled with in the past. Is this the forces of evil putting thoughts in my head when I sleep? I thought so! I woke up and prayed fervently. The next night after studying some more I got in bed ready to talk to God and had trouble praying. What was this about? I realized again it was happening, but that evening I could not shake the distant feeling I was having. I can’t explain this at least not logically. I think at different times in my life if (and probably when) the same things occurred I would have drifted for awhile. Knowing that I am in a battle helps me to stay focused and keeps me from giving in to these feelings.
I wonder; has this ever happened to anyone else? Have you been swimming closer and closer only to suddenly feel adrift?
I wonder; has this ever happened to anyone else? Have you been swimming closer and closer only to suddenly feel adrift?
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I have definitely had some "adrift moments!" They usually come for me when things are going along and I feel that everything that I have done is b/c of my talents and hard work, not b/c of gifts from God. It is a very strange, disassociated, distant feeling that I HATE to have!
BTW, Joe Beam is a fantastic speaker! His daughter JoAnna and I were good friends in college, so it was kind of neat to get to hang out w/ a "famous" minister. If you've never heard him, you should really try to ~ AWESOME STUFF! Plus, Jon Owen can do a FANTASTIC immitation of Joe's deep voice, it's hillarious!
BTW, Joe Beam is a fantastic speaker! His daughter JoAnna and I were good friends in college, so it was kind of neat to get to hang out w/ a "famous" minister. If you've never heard him, you should really try to ~ AWESOME STUFF! Plus, Jon Owen can do a FANTASTIC immitation of Joe's deep voice, it's hillarious!
I think the very fact that one has the desire to "swim" ever closer to God makes it much more likely that they will feel "adrift". When you get closer to HIm, more of His perfection is revealed, and that makes your imperfections more obvious. Not such a bad thing if it helps keep you on your knees and keeps you out of the pool of complacency.
I love that book. Some of it is difficult, but one section particularly has been comforting to me over the years -- the section about the dead. I'm thankful to Joe Beam for showing me what scriptures have to say about the righteous dead. I don't recall ever being taught that or studying that before him. After my grandmother died 10 years ago, it was such a comfort to me to realize that she could still be aware of happenings in this world, even in my life. And it is especially comforting to know she can pray for me even now. And, of course, when I lost my father that knowledge became ever more meaningful.
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I love that book. Some of it is difficult, but one section particularly has been comforting to me over the years -- the section about the dead. I'm thankful to Joe Beam for showing me what scriptures have to say about the righteous dead. I don't recall ever being taught that or studying that before him. After my grandmother died 10 years ago, it was such a comfort to me to realize that she could still be aware of happenings in this world, even in my life. And it is especially comforting to know she can pray for me even now. And, of course, when I lost my father that knowledge became ever more meaningful.
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