Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Though Dark and Dreary....
I feel like I am in a time warp. I don’t know if it is the change in time or what, but the days are LONG and it is only TUESDAY!! I think it must be time for a vacation, a WHOLE WEEK!! I like my job, check that I love my job, but I am tired. Sometimes I think the whole fall of the year thing just makes you think you should be changing or starting something. Maybe those school years program your brain to new beginnings in the fall. Then it is relived through your children. Maybe it is the anticipation that the holidays are upon us. My favorite by the way is Thanksgiving, just the unpretentiousness of it all. But I realize my brothers won’t be home again this year, and my children have their “other” families now and that is all good, but it is a little sad too.
This past weekend my husband and I went to Nashville. We stayed Friday night, and just went out to eat and shopped and talked. We had the most fun in Toys R us. We were planning what we could get Matthew and when. But I don’t want to be the kind of grandparents that are always buying “stuff”. I want to show him things, I want to read to him and listen to him read. I want to teach him to paint (o.k. someone will have to teach me first) and to write and to listen to the animals and love nature. I think the single thing that makes being a grandparent so great is that you realize what you missed with your own kids, because you were just not able to cope with any more than what you were doing, and now, you have another opportunity, a chance to slow down and emphasize what is really important.
I don’t know how I could think there are not new beginnings for me!! It is my first year to be a “Mimi”. I can start new traditions. This is the first year both of my children are married and away from home. I never really felt the whole empty nest syndrome, I have just enjoyed the peace… but it makes sense that the holidays would put a spin of loneliness on my heart. But that is just silly. I have a wonderful family and we are going to have a wonderful holiday season. NO we are not starting now!! But I will pull myself out of this time warp funk and get ready. Darkness, you will not defeat me!!
This past weekend my husband and I went to Nashville. We stayed Friday night, and just went out to eat and shopped and talked. We had the most fun in Toys R us. We were planning what we could get Matthew and when. But I don’t want to be the kind of grandparents that are always buying “stuff”. I want to show him things, I want to read to him and listen to him read. I want to teach him to paint (o.k. someone will have to teach me first) and to write and to listen to the animals and love nature. I think the single thing that makes being a grandparent so great is that you realize what you missed with your own kids, because you were just not able to cope with any more than what you were doing, and now, you have another opportunity, a chance to slow down and emphasize what is really important.
I don’t know how I could think there are not new beginnings for me!! It is my first year to be a “Mimi”. I can start new traditions. This is the first year both of my children are married and away from home. I never really felt the whole empty nest syndrome, I have just enjoyed the peace… but it makes sense that the holidays would put a spin of loneliness on my heart. But that is just silly. I have a wonderful family and we are going to have a wonderful holiday season. NO we are not starting now!! But I will pull myself out of this time warp funk and get ready. Darkness, you will not defeat me!!
