Thursday, March 17, 2005
Lonely Days & Lonely Nights
Last night our lesson was on loneliness and how God created us to be people of community. Celia is such a sweet and gentle spirit and she read us the children's book “The Lonely Firefly” that she is currently reading to her Head Start group. Our class will get such a variety of teachers this quarter. Celia is sweet, funny and totally grounded. Terri is feisty totally organized type-A personality who is also incredibly funny. Then they have me, the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants gal, who likes to ask the probing questions and play the devil’s advocate just to stir us some discussion. It should be an interesting study.
I tried to think of times in my life that I had felt lonely. I know that there are many. I shared with the class the leaving of a job where there were 50-60 employees to come here where there are 8 of us. When I first came here we were so busy that I didn’t have time to get to know the people that I worked with very well. I got lonely then.
I remember when I first started going to the church I now attend. I was 27 years old with a 5 year old and a 2 year old. I was by myself. I had always gone to my parents’ church which was also the church of my aunts, uncles and cousins. Now here I was trying to control these two children by myself in a church building full of strangers. There were some very special people who made that transition easier for me, but I was scared and lonely. Only my determination to not go backwards kept me coming. I need to remind myself of this when I see young mothers in services alone with their children.
There is also the ending of friendships and other relationships that create a void in our lives. When you talk to someone everyday sometimes 2 or 3 times a day and that person leaves your life (for whatever reason) loneliness is going to be a by-product.
I don’t think it is very productive for me to dwell on my seasons of loneliness unless I am doing it as a way to reach out to others who may be feeling the same way. The truth of it is that we all need other people. We may not need a new best friend or a confidant as much as we just need kind sincere words. If we truly want to be like Jesus we will look at how we can reach out to others. We will try to recognize those who are lonely or hurting and at least share a smile with them. I have got a lot of work to do on this one.
** I got an error message the first two times I tried to post this, then when it finally worked it posted 5 times!!! Fortunately I compose most of my post in Word then copy and paste (spell check works better). However, I have lost several funny comments to other blogs this week. Don't think I am not reading and commenting, Blogwart is just eating them**
I tried to think of times in my life that I had felt lonely. I know that there are many. I shared with the class the leaving of a job where there were 50-60 employees to come here where there are 8 of us. When I first came here we were so busy that I didn’t have time to get to know the people that I worked with very well. I got lonely then.
I remember when I first started going to the church I now attend. I was 27 years old with a 5 year old and a 2 year old. I was by myself. I had always gone to my parents’ church which was also the church of my aunts, uncles and cousins. Now here I was trying to control these two children by myself in a church building full of strangers. There were some very special people who made that transition easier for me, but I was scared and lonely. Only my determination to not go backwards kept me coming. I need to remind myself of this when I see young mothers in services alone with their children.
There is also the ending of friendships and other relationships that create a void in our lives. When you talk to someone everyday sometimes 2 or 3 times a day and that person leaves your life (for whatever reason) loneliness is going to be a by-product.
I don’t think it is very productive for me to dwell on my seasons of loneliness unless I am doing it as a way to reach out to others who may be feeling the same way. The truth of it is that we all need other people. We may not need a new best friend or a confidant as much as we just need kind sincere words. If we truly want to be like Jesus we will look at how we can reach out to others. We will try to recognize those who are lonely or hurting and at least share a smile with them. I have got a lot of work to do on this one.
** I got an error message the first two times I tried to post this, then when it finally worked it posted 5 times!!! Fortunately I compose most of my post in Word then copy and paste (spell check works better). However, I have lost several funny comments to other blogs this week. Don't think I am not reading and commenting, Blogwart is just eating them**
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The lonliest I have ever felt was one New Years Eve after I graduated from college. I went to a club with a friend. When it was midnight everyone was hugging and kissing and I just stood there and cried! So depressing! I will take your advice and smile and talk to someone who needs a friend!
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