Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Posting is Procrastination
Sometimes when I read the blogs of students and others who are procrastinating doing what they really need to be doing, whether studying, writing a paper, working on music, laundry or whatever.. I tend to be judgmental. Why are you writing if you have other stuff you need to be doing??? Yet here I am; I should be studying the lesson I am supposed to teach tomorrow night. My topic is Forgiveness! I truly don’t know how you preachers and full time teachers among us do it! I feel like I have taught this class five times in the last year alone. Maybe it is because I need it so much. Maybe it is because I always feel like I should be the one being taught this lesson.
Most of the time I have an incredibly short memory. If you did something that you think might have offended me and I am still talking to you, forget about it! I have! I think there is a great difference in the small slights that happen to us from time to time. Even the left-handed insults we can look past. People don’t really mean to be crude, they just aren’t thinking while they are talking. For the most part, these things are over for me about as quickly as they happen. But what do you do with the person who deliberately pursues a course of action knowing that they will hurt you in the process! How do you forgive this person when they truly have not looked for your forgiveness? Or what if they have apologized by saying how very sorry they were, but made no effort to follow up with you or to restore what they took from you, whether it is pride, friendship, money, a husband, girlfriend, boyfriend a job…whatever! And how about us? Do we freely throw out the “I’m so sorry” without showing fruit of repentance?
I don’t know what approach I will use with this lesson but I love the words of John Ortberg in this chapter of Everybody’s Normal Till You Get to Know Them
The ache of loneliness
The hope of searching
The joy of intimacy
The anguish of betrayal
That is it, right? The anguish of betrayal; I dared to open my heart to you, I shared with you the innermost secrets of my soul and you sold me out! You gave me up, for what!!?? And this my friends is the biggest threat to forming real community, this fear!
Folks I am on a roll, so I think I will take these thoughts and save them for my class. One or two of them read this blog and if I go on and on they will have no reason to show up.
So I will end with a question, has there been a time in your life when you found it hard, if not impossible to forgive?
Most of the time I have an incredibly short memory. If you did something that you think might have offended me and I am still talking to you, forget about it! I have! I think there is a great difference in the small slights that happen to us from time to time. Even the left-handed insults we can look past. People don’t really mean to be crude, they just aren’t thinking while they are talking. For the most part, these things are over for me about as quickly as they happen. But what do you do with the person who deliberately pursues a course of action knowing that they will hurt you in the process! How do you forgive this person when they truly have not looked for your forgiveness? Or what if they have apologized by saying how very sorry they were, but made no effort to follow up with you or to restore what they took from you, whether it is pride, friendship, money, a husband, girlfriend, boyfriend a job…whatever! And how about us? Do we freely throw out the “I’m so sorry” without showing fruit of repentance?
I don’t know what approach I will use with this lesson but I love the words of John Ortberg in this chapter of Everybody’s Normal Till You Get to Know Them
The ache of loneliness
The hope of searching
The joy of intimacy
The anguish of betrayal
That is it, right? The anguish of betrayal; I dared to open my heart to you, I shared with you the innermost secrets of my soul and you sold me out! You gave me up, for what!!?? And this my friends is the biggest threat to forming real community, this fear!
Folks I am on a roll, so I think I will take these thoughts and save them for my class. One or two of them read this blog and if I go on and on they will have no reason to show up.
So I will end with a question, has there been a time in your life when you found it hard, if not impossible to forgive?
Comments:
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Yes, and it was painful--it took God several months to work me through it and let him have the vengeance. It was about 10 years ago now--and I am thankful for the whole painful experience--I can look back and see how much God taught me about forgiveness. I needed to forgive the person for my relationship with God no matter what this other person did. I had to learn to forgive someone else, like God has forgiven me. Hope your class goes well. These are some excellent thoughts!
JB
JB
Yes! I have found that I can forgive someone if they hurt me much easier than I can forgive those who hurt my loved ones. There have been times I think I have forgiven someone, but I still have feelings of hurt and anger to deal with. Does that mean I have not truly forgiven them? I'm not sure. But I do know that not forgiving is very caustic, and ends up hurt me more than any person could.
It really is a painful process. I had to completely get out of contact with the person for awhile and let God work on me. Being in close contact with the person, I just couldn't seem to see past the offense, KWIM?
LOL--and BTW, I'm one of those horrible procrastinators when it comes to the computer. When I get home from work, I KNOW I need to get started on the housework. But sometimes the draw of the chair is much more magnetic than the lure of the dishwasher. : D
Good comments ya'll. I don't know if dealing with hurt and anger mean that you haven't forgiven. That is the same thing I struggle with. I think I have put something behind me completely, but when the name is broght up or this topic is brought up I am back to being churned up inside.
# posted by 
: 5:22 PM, April 27, 2005
: 5:22 PM, April 27, 2005
Wish I could be in your class. I'll just have to sit here at your feet metaphorically and admire their beauty.
You bring good news.
You bring good news.
Yes, but your question reminds me of the people who's loved ones are murdered or victims of crime. You hear the stories of how those people forgave the criminal. I don't know if I could do that? I definitely don't think it can be done without Jesus'strength, forgiveness and guidance.
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