Friday, June 10, 2005
Agreeing to Disagree
I found myself recently listening to a speaker and analyzing and disagreeing with what he was saying. He was interpreting something abstract into a “certainty” and I just disagreed. I started listing all the scripture that had to do with the topic to prove my point. I still think I was right, but in the grand scheme of things it didn’t really matter. I was patting myself on the back a little for daring to question, for taking the time to research and justify why I disagreed. I did not hold any disrespect for this man as I disagreed with him. I valued his words and that his opinion on the subject was different.
I told you that only to tell you how much of a hypocrite I am. I realize that I want everyone to agree with me. I have always been such a people pleaser; I get my feelings hurt if you don’t agree with me or if you take issue with something I say. Your opinions are open to my analysis and counter-points, but you really should just agree with me! In the past I would keep my opinions to myself to keep myself from being opened up to rejection. Well putting all of this down in black and white helps me to realize that is a bunch of “hog-wash”.
Before I can enter into dialogue to try and make people see things my way, I must be open to the way they see things. I must embrace the fact that people do differ with me and be motivated to grow as a result. I may use this blog to achieve that goal from time to time. I may comment to others as a way of feeling and stretching my own beliefs. I am openly welcoming you to post opposing comments when you disagree with me. I don’t want you to be rude or belittling, but let’s have open, honest dialogue.
This post is not a reaction to anything posted on this blog. I just realized that I have much work to do in this area. If I am going to put my thoughts out there (or here as the case may be), I will be disagreed with. All I am saying is GOOD, I can handle it!
I told you that only to tell you how much of a hypocrite I am. I realize that I want everyone to agree with me. I have always been such a people pleaser; I get my feelings hurt if you don’t agree with me or if you take issue with something I say. Your opinions are open to my analysis and counter-points, but you really should just agree with me! In the past I would keep my opinions to myself to keep myself from being opened up to rejection. Well putting all of this down in black and white helps me to realize that is a bunch of “hog-wash”.
Before I can enter into dialogue to try and make people see things my way, I must be open to the way they see things. I must embrace the fact that people do differ with me and be motivated to grow as a result. I may use this blog to achieve that goal from time to time. I may comment to others as a way of feeling and stretching my own beliefs. I am openly welcoming you to post opposing comments when you disagree with me. I don’t want you to be rude or belittling, but let’s have open, honest dialogue.
This post is not a reaction to anything posted on this blog. I just realized that I have much work to do in this area. If I am going to put my thoughts out there (or here as the case may be), I will be disagreed with. All I am saying is GOOD, I can handle it!
Comments:
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This post and your last one were really good. A lot better than most of the CRAP out there! :)
Keep bloggin, sister!
DU
Keep bloggin, sister!
DU
Very open and honest! That's a great way to help the rest of us look at ourselves, by using yourself as an example.
Thanks.
Thanks.
I would disagree with you, but it is very important to me that you like me, so I won't! (NOT REALLY!)
I think age has helped me a lot in this area--I have learned there is a lot of valuable thinking that I don't agree with--and I am fine with that. Life is just not very black and white in many areas--so I have adjusted to gray--and agreeing to disagree.
JB
I think age has helped me a lot in this area--I have learned there is a lot of valuable thinking that I don't agree with--and I am fine with that. Life is just not very black and white in many areas--so I have adjusted to gray--and agreeing to disagree.
JB
There is a guy that I am friends with at church now, but 5 years ago when we met, everything he said and did rubbed me the wrong way! He was so argumentative and intent on stirring the pot. But now, 5 years later, we have both matured and mellowed (much like jettybetty said) and can agree to disagree -- and sometimes we even actually agree! He certainly doesn't rub me quite as badly anymore. I guess that is one positive thing about getting older. :-)
We all think we are right in what we think. So if you disagree, it can take on a personal nature. I think the beauty of dialogue is to remove the personal aspect and just examine what is being said. Most of the time when people are offended they are just exposing their perception that they are right - and that you are wrong. Donna, I will encourage you that you are right most of the time. At least when you agree with me. :)
Personally, I believe that we as Christians are to eager to agree just for the sake of getting along and not arguing. I wish we would all take the time to analize what we hear and then form an opinion about it. I don't believe this to be disrespectful or sinful in any way at all. I would rather have my opinions and beliefs based on what I truly BELIEVE as opposed to what I merely hear. You can agree or disagree if you want!
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