Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Being Exposed
I am sorry not many of you got my “Blues Brothers” reference. Or you just didn’t think it was funny, again if I offended anyone I am sorry. But when the reference was made I was sitting by Terri. Now we didn’t laugh out loud like Thomas (thank you!) said he would have but we did both laugh and hid our faces at the same time! Some of my most meaningful times with God have been laced with humor! I think he wants and expects us to laugh together….
It seems that I am feeling exposed a lot lately. Last night as part of my mother’s birthday gift I did give her a sampling of some of my blog post. I really wasn’t expecting her to read them right then and there. I was telling my kids it was nothing just some things I had written. Diana told me she had read it some at work. Derek said he and his boss had read it!! What!? I knew that David occasionally read since he told me that was how he found out I was car shopping! Sometimes I close my mind to this being public… a “World Wide Web”. I think that just the few people I have met through this medium are the ones that read… Oh well.
I did make a decision not to change the way I write. I cannot sit and think, “Now who is going to read this”, or I will resort to just tell my “dog stories”, not that I don’t have some good ones!
It is strange though, when you feel exposed. When you find out someone knows something that you didn’t think anyone knew. It is strange how everything kind of explodes in your head but then you realize nothing has changed. Life is just the same as it was, but your illusion of being in control is once again revealed as just that, an illusion!
It seems that I am feeling exposed a lot lately. Last night as part of my mother’s birthday gift I did give her a sampling of some of my blog post. I really wasn’t expecting her to read them right then and there. I was telling my kids it was nothing just some things I had written. Diana told me she had read it some at work. Derek said he and his boss had read it!! What!? I knew that David occasionally read since he told me that was how he found out I was car shopping! Sometimes I close my mind to this being public… a “World Wide Web”. I think that just the few people I have met through this medium are the ones that read… Oh well.
I did make a decision not to change the way I write. I cannot sit and think, “Now who is going to read this”, or I will resort to just tell my “dog stories”, not that I don’t have some good ones!
It is strange though, when you feel exposed. When you find out someone knows something that you didn’t think anyone knew. It is strange how everything kind of explodes in your head but then you realize nothing has changed. Life is just the same as it was, but your illusion of being in control is once again revealed as just that, an illusion!
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Some of us at Northside grappled with this issue a month or so ago because of non-bloggers who made comments to people. We pretty much came to the conclusion you did--this is a place for being exposed and being real, and, for me, somehow it's working out as starting place for being real in everyday interactions outside of cyberspace. God can use any medium to build up the body of Christ, and this one has become a good place to start because so many congregations get together and just "do church" without really sharing each others' lives. So praise God for it!
I caved to the "exposure" thing. I think that is why I find it hard to blog about anything other than creamed corn. It has taken the air out of my blogging sails in a way. People I have to live with stumbled onto my blog and it caused some family strife. Suddenly I found myself having to defend or try to further explain what I blogged about, even when it was taken out of context. I feel like my blog is watered down now. I keep thinking I will do what Val did and start a secret blog! Or maybe I just don't have that much to say anymore. HOWEVER, I am glad you are sticking to your guns! I love to read you blog!
Almost every day, someone mentions that they read my blog. People that I never told that I write - some that I am surprised even know what a blog is! For a while it stressed me out - and I do still censor myself a little bit in what stories I share and what I don't. But, I am a firm believer in being yourself, whatever the medium, and not holding back due to fear of exposure. So, I appreciate that you are continuing to do the same!
I feel the same way. I don't want to lose the purpose or the "edge" to my blog just because some people I didn't know read it read it. Of course, I have a blogger name just to keep it somewhat discreet.
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