Monday, August 08, 2005
Correction..?
A few weeks ago I mentioned that I was studying how we should correct a brother. I indicated I was going to post about it, but just never got around to it. This weekend I was working through how I should approach some criticism that seemed a little judgmental to me. As I was stewing and thinking how best to respond, the strangest thing occurred. The Holy Spirit got busy showing me things. I picked up studying in The Divine Conspiracy on this chapter on correction. Dallas Willard says “When we condemn another we really communicate that he or she is, in some deep and just possibly irredeemable way, bad-bad as a whole and to be rejected…..To be fair we rarely intend such total rejection, but that is usually what comes across. To correct another without making this happen requires great spiritual and personal maturity.”
Well I was able to apply this both to my attitude when receiving criticism and to curb my desire to strike back. I DID feel as if the person thought I was bad! I felt the need to lash out, because I felt “attacked”. So would anything I said be received any differently? Probably not. Now I know that this chapter is talking about confronting someone in sin, but truly is that not what we do when we are being judgmental? Are we not just assuming this person is wrong and we are right? But he goes on to give four guidelines for correcting others.
- Be absolutely sure of the sin. If there is any doubt assume it did not happen!
- Correction is reserved for those who are “spiritual”, my interpretation; leaders.
- Correction should only be done for the purpose of restoration, not straightening someone out.
- Those who restore must be aware that they could do the same things this person has done or worse. This removes any sense of self-righteousness or superiority.
The book is rich, but then yesterday Terri and I went to worship with Greg Miles and our friends at Crossbridge. Gary Brantley had a wonderful sermon on the prodigal son, or as he called it the Lost Sons! I think that the attitude of the older brother is also key to our learning to love and accept each other. Jesus paints a picture of open armed love and forgiveness and yet demonstrates to us that sometimes that is not how WE feel. I don’t want to be that way. Even when someone has hurt me or my feelings I want to be able to see good, to respond in love.
Last night I got the final nudge in the book store. I would tell you the title of the book I saw, but that would almost be my “retribution”. So let me suffice it to say, I felt justified. But with my new found understanding of correction, I will just enjoy it “on the inside” and try to remain humble.
Second, if the fault is accurate but the person does not respond to the correct, Paul writes for us to go with a few others (kind of the scriptural approach to intervention). I'm assuming leadership get involved at this point if they aren't already.
Finally, if all else fails, scripture is pretty clear about shunning or denying fellowship. I'm not saying I like this one--but it really should be a last resort.
The long and short of it for me is (and thanks for the opportunity to talk about this): What we need is honest, open communication. Not "more" communication. And not talking with everyone besides the person who needs confronted. It's too easy to pussyfoot around a person for fear of offending them--but it makes it so much harder because it gets other people involved and essentially delays resolution of an issue or avoids it.
So your main point is right on--we should be very careful before we judge someone else. And it also should be in the spirit of loving correction and reproof, not of condemnation.
(Matt 18:15)
When the brother is "overtaken" or caught "red-handed" those who are "Spiritual" should restore him, taking care less they be tempted. (Gal 6:1)
And I agree that we need more open communication, also we need accountability partners. It is easier to take correction from someone who has proven that they will love you regardless.
Thanks for the comments!
JB
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