Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Things I don't Understand
- Why can’t Wal-Mart shoppers walk 5 or 10 more steps to return their buggy to the return stall??? WHY!!
- Why do people who see a large charcoal Tahoe bearing down on their 1965 Chevrolet pickup refuse to signal that they are turning!!! Yes the window was down and I do know hand signals!!!
- Why Vanilla Ice (or anyone for that matter) would tattoo every inch of their forearm?
- Why the Israeli Government is forcing Jewish citizens from their home in the Gaza Strip.
- Why those same citizens did not take the money and run when they knew the evacuation would be forced.
- Why do I find so fascinating about new ink pens.
- Why won’t my home phone ring (any of them) when I get an incoming call?
- Why are their women jogging down the street in the morning?
- Why do I want a Heath Bar Blizzard when I need comfort food?
- Why do I feel the need to “blog” before I get to work?
I am sure there are more, I may add to this list during the day.
Feel free to add your own!
Comments:
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Someone e-mailed me a list today...
Why do banks charge an NSF fee when they know there is not enough money?
Why do we pick up a piece of thread after the vacuum cleaner misses it and put it right back down to give the Vaccuum a 2nd chance.
Why do we press harder on the remote when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why do banks charge an NSF fee when they know there is not enough money?
Why do we pick up a piece of thread after the vacuum cleaner misses it and put it right back down to give the Vaccuum a 2nd chance.
Why do we press harder on the remote when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
These are funny...
A couple from me:
Why can't I ever seem to get all my socks to have mates coming from the dryer?
Why do my children insist on being on different waking up schedules that vary everyday -- Sam sleep in, Seth is up early or vice versa. Never sleep in or early on the same days...ugh!
Why do I seem to be able to read any fiction book you put in front of me until it is finished, but I can't "find time" to read my Bible?
A couple from me:
Why can't I ever seem to get all my socks to have mates coming from the dryer?
Why do my children insist on being on different waking up schedules that vary everyday -- Sam sleep in, Seth is up early or vice versa. Never sleep in or early on the same days...ugh!
Why do I seem to be able to read any fiction book you put in front of me until it is finished, but I can't "find time" to read my Bible?
I was thinking about such things this morning:
Why do people push to get in front of you and then slow down to a crawl once they do?
Why do people stand in the doorway of the subway and take forever to get out the way when they know a stop is coming up?
Why do people lean on the pole in a crowded subway so no one else has a place to hold on to?
Why do idiots seem to get away with everything?
Why does my super insist on leaving trash on the stoop when he's supposed to be cleaning it up?
Why do women pick on each other?
Why are women subway conductors less likely to let you slip in at the last minute than men are?
Why do some men feel the need to tell you to smile, say hello and get mad when you don't?
Why do people push to get in front of you and then slow down to a crawl once they do?
Why do people stand in the doorway of the subway and take forever to get out the way when they know a stop is coming up?
Why do people lean on the pole in a crowded subway so no one else has a place to hold on to?
Why do idiots seem to get away with everything?
Why does my super insist on leaving trash on the stoop when he's supposed to be cleaning it up?
Why do women pick on each other?
Why are women subway conductors less likely to let you slip in at the last minute than men are?
Why do some men feel the need to tell you to smile, say hello and get mad when you don't?
Some of my favorite ponderings, not all of which are original:
Why are they called "apart"ments when they're together?
Why do drive-up ATMs have Braille keys?
Why do aspirin bottles advise you to "Keep Away From Small Children" after the precious little things have already given you a headache?
Why do people wait until Sunday afternoon at K-Mart to teach their children discipline?
Why do rear-view mirrors overprinted with "Objects in Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear" instead of being replaced with mirrors that actually work and have images you can trust for proximity and relative size?
Why do men get "her"nias and women have "his"terectomies?
Why do pills have to be so big when many of them are mostly inert, non-medicinal carrier?
How can a lawnmower have a zero-turning radius and still cut a 23-inch swath?
Why doesn't a money-back guarantee tell you how much of your money you would get back? And why doesn't it include compensation for the time you wasted discovering that the product is worthless? And why would anyone take advantage of a free replacement guarantee on something that doesn't work?
Why do people dress casually for weddings but dress up to go to funerals?
Why do sport shirts have top buttons?
Why do everyone else's radios and TVs play at least a hundred decibels louder than mine?
Why is Tax Freedom Day - the day of the year when you've earned enough to pay all of your taxes - two days after April 15?
Why are they called "apart"ments when they're together?
Why do drive-up ATMs have Braille keys?
Why do aspirin bottles advise you to "Keep Away From Small Children" after the precious little things have already given you a headache?
Why do people wait until Sunday afternoon at K-Mart to teach their children discipline?
Why do rear-view mirrors overprinted with "Objects in Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear" instead of being replaced with mirrors that actually work and have images you can trust for proximity and relative size?
Why do men get "her"nias and women have "his"terectomies?
Why do pills have to be so big when many of them are mostly inert, non-medicinal carrier?
How can a lawnmower have a zero-turning radius and still cut a 23-inch swath?
Why doesn't a money-back guarantee tell you how much of your money you would get back? And why doesn't it include compensation for the time you wasted discovering that the product is worthless? And why would anyone take advantage of a free replacement guarantee on something that doesn't work?
Why do people dress casually for weddings but dress up to go to funerals?
Why do sport shirts have top buttons?
Why do everyone else's radios and TVs play at least a hundred decibels louder than mine?
Why is Tax Freedom Day - the day of the year when you've earned enough to pay all of your taxes - two days after April 15?
Adding to Keith's list (most of them from that great wordsmith Richard Lederer, but the last one a "George" original):
Why is there no butter in buttermilk, no egg in eggplant, no grape in grapefruit, no bread in shortbread, neither worms nor wood in wormwood, neither mush nor room in mushroom, neither pine nor apple in pineapple, neither peas nor nuts in peanuts, and no ham in a hamburger?
Why do we drive on a parkway but park in a driveway?
Why do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Why do privates eat in the general mess and generals eat in the private mess?
Why do people ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Why can your nose run and your feet smell?
And my own: Why, if letters can go around the world, do we call a bundle of letters and envelopes stationery?
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Why is there no butter in buttermilk, no egg in eggplant, no grape in grapefruit, no bread in shortbread, neither worms nor wood in wormwood, neither mush nor room in mushroom, neither pine nor apple in pineapple, neither peas nor nuts in peanuts, and no ham in a hamburger?
Why do we drive on a parkway but park in a driveway?
Why do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Why do privates eat in the general mess and generals eat in the private mess?
Why do people ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Why can your nose run and your feet smell?
And my own: Why, if letters can go around the world, do we call a bundle of letters and envelopes stationery?
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