Joyful Transformation

Do you ever slip into an unidentifiable funk? I just feel so distant from God and other people sometimes. I can’t explain what is driving the feeling, nor can I put my finger on when it starts. It just suddenly is there and I can’t find a way to get out of it. It doesn’t really make sense right now. I should still be on a spiritual high from the Zoë Conference. Yet, I am struggling to feel close, to feel connected. I know that I am not unhappy; I know that I am not bored. There are so many things going on in my life, I may get stressed trying to keep up with it all, but that is the way I like it, right? It is almost like I am waiting on the next “new” thing. It seems like I might be in anticipation of something…something that doesn’t ever seem to happen.

A couple of friends said I didn’t seem myself at church yesterday. What? I don’t know what they meant, was I not the same as I always am? I must be more transparent than I thought I was. But honestly, I can’t put my finger on a change in the way I act or they way I feel other than to say I feel disconnected. I just wonder if this is a common thing. Does it happen to everyone?

I started typing this morning thinking this would be a private entry. I was just trying to identify the way I was feeling. But then I wondered if maybe it would help someone else if they ever felt the same….