Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Nothing More Than Feelings
I find it very hard to describe how I feel when I am going through a change. Not that how I “feel” is so important, but my belief in and attitudes toward things can be important, at least to me.
For quite some time I have felt oddly disconnected. I don’t know the actual progression that brought me to this point but it has been a mounting feeling. I know I am late to the game in reading McLaren’s “A New Kind of Christian”, but it is speaking about much of what I am feeling. I find myself unable to put the book down, and then I find myself dwelling on what I have read when I do put it down. I know that many of you will never read the book, and many more of you have already read his subsequent books. Just suffice it to say that I have not been happy with the way that the church has presented Christ to the world. I never really understood what my big hang up was with inviting people “to church”, but I think I get it now. I want to invite people to know Jesus and I am afraid that sometimes we can’t get out of our own way long enough to let an outsider see Jesus in our assemblies. And then too, I think that I have been looking for Jesus in all the wrong places.
It struck me the other day how much of the book of John focuses on Jesus’ criticism and condemnation of the Pharisees. The contrast of course being the people that followed him, the people he healed, the people who realized that they NEEDED Jesus. I wonder sometimes if to the outside world we look like the Pharisees. WE will be glad to help you if only you will come to our building, fill out our form and meet with our committee. Then we will let you know.
I am not being negative (I know it sounds to you like I am) but rather looking for a better way to show people the Jesus that I am getting to know better myself. I don’t want to present myself as someone who has it all together, because I do not! But, I do want to demonstrate the peace and joy that fills my life knowing that my savior loves me and will intercede for me when I blow it, again. I also want to lead a life so full of his love that I cannot help but to love those around me.
For quite some time I have felt oddly disconnected. I don’t know the actual progression that brought me to this point but it has been a mounting feeling. I know I am late to the game in reading McLaren’s “A New Kind of Christian”, but it is speaking about much of what I am feeling. I find myself unable to put the book down, and then I find myself dwelling on what I have read when I do put it down. I know that many of you will never read the book, and many more of you have already read his subsequent books. Just suffice it to say that I have not been happy with the way that the church has presented Christ to the world. I never really understood what my big hang up was with inviting people “to church”, but I think I get it now. I want to invite people to know Jesus and I am afraid that sometimes we can’t get out of our own way long enough to let an outsider see Jesus in our assemblies. And then too, I think that I have been looking for Jesus in all the wrong places.
It struck me the other day how much of the book of John focuses on Jesus’ criticism and condemnation of the Pharisees. The contrast of course being the people that followed him, the people he healed, the people who realized that they NEEDED Jesus. I wonder sometimes if to the outside world we look like the Pharisees. WE will be glad to help you if only you will come to our building, fill out our form and meet with our committee. Then we will let you know.
I am not being negative (I know it sounds to you like I am) but rather looking for a better way to show people the Jesus that I am getting to know better myself. I don’t want to present myself as someone who has it all together, because I do not! But, I do want to demonstrate the peace and joy that fills my life knowing that my savior loves me and will intercede for me when I blow it, again. I also want to lead a life so full of his love that I cannot help but to love those around me.
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The book of John is such a convicting book. I don't like it sometimes because it is like looking at a mirror thinking I was looking good and seeing filthy smudges on my face.
My brother has been a part of a group in Birmingham that has really been about showing Jesus and less about Church. Here is there website: www.disciplesfellowship.com
My brother has been a part of a group in Birmingham that has really been about showing Jesus and less about Church. Here is there website: www.disciplesfellowship.com
It's been an interesting walk for me in this area. The church I grew up in was definitely old school. But recently they have a new minister and he is really outreach oriented. That has made a huge difference! They had a friends day last fall and the church was the fullest it has EVER been! It was truly amazing! People I grew up with are coming to know Christ as adults.
Westover is outreach oriented too. They sponsor things and provide mentors for area schools, they sponsor a church that is geared towards people getting out of prision. It is really cool.
Still personally, I have a LONG way to go in the area of outreach. Like you I want to get to the point that I can't help but love those around me.
Westover is outreach oriented too. They sponsor things and provide mentors for area schools, they sponsor a church that is geared towards people getting out of prision. It is really cool.
Still personally, I have a LONG way to go in the area of outreach. Like you I want to get to the point that I can't help but love those around me.
OH OH OH! I've wanted to comment on this all day but couldn't get your comments page to load.
Felt similarly to this so many times. I once said I had all the faith in the world in Jesus but wasn't sure I trusted my local C of C. I guess trust isn't so much what it is though. It's hard to explain. I once shared some of these feelings with some church friends and got every response from I wasn't trying to work within the confines of church hard enough,(Is church suposec to be confining?) to "It is best not to think about such things." Still not sure what to think or feel sometimes but I try to look at my church family as more of a group of fellow strugglers and that seems to help a bit. I'm sure the problem lies within me and the answer lies with in HIM, just haven't figured out how to get from A to B.
Felt similarly to this so many times. I once said I had all the faith in the world in Jesus but wasn't sure I trusted my local C of C. I guess trust isn't so much what it is though. It's hard to explain. I once shared some of these feelings with some church friends and got every response from I wasn't trying to work within the confines of church hard enough,(Is church suposec to be confining?) to "It is best not to think about such things." Still not sure what to think or feel sometimes but I try to look at my church family as more of a group of fellow strugglers and that seems to help a bit. I'm sure the problem lies within me and the answer lies with in HIM, just haven't figured out how to get from A to B.
I don't know if you'll find this site uplifting, but I enjoy visiting off the map and reading about the "ordinary attempts" people make to reach others with the love of Christ. Church comes later, in some cases, much later.
It nudges me to be more creative and more anxious to recognize opportunities to act as well as just pray for people.
It nudges me to be more creative and more anxious to recognize opportunities to act as well as just pray for people.
Donna,
I have shared those feelings for a long time. And you're ahead of me - McLaren is next on my list.
It seems like our tribe is becoming two now - the Pharisaical believers in one group and the searching believers in the other. Group A has it all figured out, group B is doing a lot of reading and questioning.
But you're right - the key is loving others as Jesus does. Even those annoying Pharisees. Who knows, they may be the ones needing it the most.
I have shared those feelings for a long time. And you're ahead of me - McLaren is next on my list.
It seems like our tribe is becoming two now - the Pharisaical believers in one group and the searching believers in the other. Group A has it all figured out, group B is doing a lot of reading and questioning.
But you're right - the key is loving others as Jesus does. Even those annoying Pharisees. Who knows, they may be the ones needing it the most.
I still say it is about relationship. Love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and just live to his glory. Let him work out the details. Don't sweat the small stuff.
I've been trying to work through my feelings about all this at http://thatisnotmyblog.blogspot.com. Some days are better than others.
Donna, I must have finished A New Kind of Christian right about the same time you did! Reading it gives you such comfort in knowing that there is a real extended community of believers who think and feel the same way you do.
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