Friday, May 12, 2006
What I was Talking about....
When my son was in high school he played football. We were very into CHS Football during those years. David was the president of the Quarterback Club and we were at every game no matter where it was, no matter what the weather was. We went to dressing room after the games to tell the guys what a good job they had done and we got there early to see the team warm up.
The first year after my son graduated we went to most of the home games. We traveled to a couple of the away games that were close by. We didn’t get there all that early and sometimes we left before the game was over.
Last year, I made most of the home games, David made a couple. We still love football and follow what the team does, but somehow it is not the all consuming passion that it once was. At two of the games I spent most of my time entertaining Matthew (and we had a blast).
If you asked me I would tell you that I love high-school football. It is just not the same priority for me that it once was.
Recently I told you that I had to give up teaching my class at church. Earlier last year I had given up trying to work on WWF (Women Working in Faith) due to lack of interest. When we started our building project I was on the committee and helped to put together the video that launched our giving campaign.
So lately I feel the same kind of disconnect that I felt from football. I love my church and I make all the services that I can, but I don’t feel “needed” in the same way that I once was. I feel like a spectator at times, uninvolved in the process of finding a minister, of designing class rooms, or most anything. I know that it is no one’s fault but my own, so save your breath on those comments.
However, this disconnect has started my thinking process. I am sure that I have grown as much spiritually during this last year as I ever have before. I can see how being a “church member” sometimes gets in the way of being a Christian. Now before you jump on me too hard let me ask you a couple of questions.
a. What are the five acts of worship?
b. What are the five steps to salvation
c. What are the nine beatitudes?
d. What are the fruits of the spirit?
Did you answer a and b much easier than c or d? If so, do you realize that you are totally “churched” but may not be living in the Spirit? If what I said made no sense to you please just stop reading. But if you “get it”, I want you to know what a struggle I have been through. The book I am reading by Donald Miller talks about how symbols are meaningless unless we keep in mind what they are to represent. My friend Rick wrote an excellent post on why people are leaving the institutional church. The day before he had written about the kingdom of God living in us. Both had me reeling as he was speaking to what I was going through. That very night I got an e-mail from one of our elders saying “Don’t Quit”. Weird, huh. Then I read the blog of my friend Danny Dodd and he talks of Jesus without Community. I don’t know that I have reached any conclusions on anything, but I do believe that God is putting people in my path to help me let the spirit guide me through this. I have a strong desire to de-tox, but fear that if I disconnect totally I would be unable to find my way back.
Please don’t worry about me. I am not jumping off the deep end, but I did want to share what is bouncing around in my head.
The first year after my son graduated we went to most of the home games. We traveled to a couple of the away games that were close by. We didn’t get there all that early and sometimes we left before the game was over.
Last year, I made most of the home games, David made a couple. We still love football and follow what the team does, but somehow it is not the all consuming passion that it once was. At two of the games I spent most of my time entertaining Matthew (and we had a blast).
If you asked me I would tell you that I love high-school football. It is just not the same priority for me that it once was.
Recently I told you that I had to give up teaching my class at church. Earlier last year I had given up trying to work on WWF (Women Working in Faith) due to lack of interest. When we started our building project I was on the committee and helped to put together the video that launched our giving campaign.
So lately I feel the same kind of disconnect that I felt from football. I love my church and I make all the services that I can, but I don’t feel “needed” in the same way that I once was. I feel like a spectator at times, uninvolved in the process of finding a minister, of designing class rooms, or most anything. I know that it is no one’s fault but my own, so save your breath on those comments.
However, this disconnect has started my thinking process. I am sure that I have grown as much spiritually during this last year as I ever have before. I can see how being a “church member” sometimes gets in the way of being a Christian. Now before you jump on me too hard let me ask you a couple of questions.
a. What are the five acts of worship?
b. What are the five steps to salvation
c. What are the nine beatitudes?
d. What are the fruits of the spirit?
Did you answer a and b much easier than c or d? If so, do you realize that you are totally “churched” but may not be living in the Spirit? If what I said made no sense to you please just stop reading. But if you “get it”, I want you to know what a struggle I have been through. The book I am reading by Donald Miller talks about how symbols are meaningless unless we keep in mind what they are to represent. My friend Rick wrote an excellent post on why people are leaving the institutional church. The day before he had written about the kingdom of God living in us. Both had me reeling as he was speaking to what I was going through. That very night I got an e-mail from one of our elders saying “Don’t Quit”. Weird, huh. Then I read the blog of my friend Danny Dodd and he talks of Jesus without Community. I don’t know that I have reached any conclusions on anything, but I do believe that God is putting people in my path to help me let the spirit guide me through this. I have a strong desire to de-tox, but fear that if I disconnect totally I would be unable to find my way back.
Please don’t worry about me. I am not jumping off the deep end, but I did want to share what is bouncing around in my head.
Comments:
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Read Brandon Scott Thomas's blog about his sabbatical! His friend, Stephen Bailey, made a good point about this kind of de-tox. Just interesting that I've now read 2 blogs about de-toxing!!! Hmm...after your last post, my sensors are up!
Donna,
My wife and I have been having the same kinds of thoughts. And it was Donald Miller (and others) who started us thinking that way.
It will be interesting to see where God takes us.
Developing.....
My wife and I have been having the same kinds of thoughts. And it was Donald Miller (and others) who started us thinking that way.
It will be interesting to see where God takes us.
Developing.....
I thought the same thing Beans!
I wonder if we need to go through a cleansing, purging, or detox if you will, at certian stages in life as our spirituality matures and we find ourselves being called differently. There are others who have stepped up to become President of the Quaterback Club since you left and there will be others after them. Someone else is mostly likely teaching your old class or it has morphed on. We all evolve. As long ad we are evolving towards Him, I think the paths and vehicles of eveolution are not so important... but we might need to catch our breath, switch cars, or take breaks in the journey. Did that make any sense? I've thought about this a lot lately!
I wonder if we need to go through a cleansing, purging, or detox if you will, at certian stages in life as our spirituality matures and we find ourselves being called differently. There are others who have stepped up to become President of the Quaterback Club since you left and there will be others after them. Someone else is mostly likely teaching your old class or it has morphed on. We all evolve. As long ad we are evolving towards Him, I think the paths and vehicles of eveolution are not so important... but we might need to catch our breath, switch cars, or take breaks in the journey. Did that make any sense? I've thought about this a lot lately!
Also good was today's 'Utmost For His Highest' in which O. Chambers challeged us to worship God & not to worship our habits, which might include bible study, going to worship & other GOOD things. Man, that guy is just on a whole other plane that I long to be on sometimes! At least he gets me thinking!
Thanks all, and thanks for pointing me to Brandon's comments. I had read his post but I think I read it in bloglines and missed the comments....
Wise words from SB.
Wise words from SB.
donna,
i feel ya' sister. i have been in need of the detoxxing(?). i have gone through it some, and i am needing to get reconnected. i am still working in the audio/video booth, and i have signed up to assist in leading a class with one of the shepherds here at port city. we are going to be leading a class on lee strobel's book "the case for the Creator." i'm looking forward to that! jerre is such a great man, and i look forward to learining from him as we lead our congregation.
i will continue to pray for you. i know how you feel.
i feel ya' sister. i have been in need of the detoxxing(?). i have gone through it some, and i am needing to get reconnected. i am still working in the audio/video booth, and i have signed up to assist in leading a class with one of the shepherds here at port city. we are going to be leading a class on lee strobel's book "the case for the Creator." i'm looking forward to that! jerre is such a great man, and i look forward to learining from him as we lead our congregation.
i will continue to pray for you. i know how you feel.
I may be sticking my nose in where it doesn't belong but your daughter just had twins, you are physically exhausted from helping her (to the point you are falling asleep driving and while eating!) I am sure you are emotionally on a big ole rollercoaster. I think I would be tempted to hold off making any major decisions about anything life changing right now. Let things calm down a bit and then you will have a clearer head to make decisions. In otherwords don't do anything rash that you might regret later on.
Love the pictures of Matt and the triplets, they are SOOOOOOO CUTE!!!
Love the pictures of Matt and the triplets, they are SOOOOOOO CUTE!!!
I think "De-tox" sprouted out of the blog "Stupid church people" Its been a while but that is where I first saw it.
It is difficult to know how much we are influenced by churchanity. Many can't see it any more than they can see how modernism or culture affects the things we believe and do.
I don't think Detoxing is taking a break. It is taking a huge step forward in faith. Faith that God will be there. That your relationship will grow. Its not take a break from church so you can come back and do more church. It is saying if I can quit worring so much about this church stuff and church people THEN I can follow Christ more closely.
Not easy to do.
It is difficult to know how much we are influenced by churchanity. Many can't see it any more than they can see how modernism or culture affects the things we believe and do.
I don't think Detoxing is taking a break. It is taking a huge step forward in faith. Faith that God will be there. That your relationship will grow. Its not take a break from church so you can come back and do more church. It is saying if I can quit worring so much about this church stuff and church people THEN I can follow Christ more closely.
Not easy to do.
Spiritual formation is reshaping ourselves into the image of Jesus Christ. When being a "typical Christian" doesn't resemble that as much as it should, then fitting into the Church of Christ mold has to take a backseat to the work of the Holy Spirit.
I'm so thankful you are being stirred in this way, and I'm eager to see where He is taking all of us...
I'm so thankful you are being stirred in this way, and I'm eager to see where He is taking all of us...
# posted by 
: 2:54 PM, May 12, 2006
: 2:54 PM, May 12, 2006
I think this is a struggle for everyone that feeling of disconnect from time to time. I also think it's during those times that God is leading you on a special journey. It's during these times, for me, that scriptures have made sense to me in ways that I never thought before. You are being sent on this journey Donna. Seek. I'm praying for you.
Living in the spirit seems to be different for different personalities. You see that with the 12. All seemed on a different journey while traveling the same leader.
Living in the spirit seems to be different for different personalities. You see that with the 12. All seemed on a different journey while traveling the same leader.
I am not the one to say anything. After 20 years in full time ministry and now four of very little ministry I feel a huge disconnect as well. In theory though, I still believe in Jesus and church, Jesus and church, Jesus and church. I don't think you separate one from the other. Jesus loved the church enough to die for it. I must learn to love it too. Still...I feel disconnected. Strange, huh?
You know, somehow I had a feeling you were having thoughts along this line. I don't know why, it was just something in the earlier post that led me to think that.
Hey, I struggle with those exact same thoughts right now. Not being in ministry anymore, it is very weird being on the "other" side of the pulpit again.
I feel very disconnected, and I find myself longing for something deeper than "church on Sunday". It really makes me miss the mission opportunity with troubled youth that I turned down to do what I'm doing now.
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Hey, I struggle with those exact same thoughts right now. Not being in ministry anymore, it is very weird being on the "other" side of the pulpit again.
I feel very disconnected, and I find myself longing for something deeper than "church on Sunday". It really makes me miss the mission opportunity with troubled youth that I turned down to do what I'm doing now.
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