Joyful Transformation

**warning long post mostly justifying myself to myself**

Yesterday I was at the hospital to see my Mom. They were going to remove that drainage thingy from her back and I decided I didn’t want to stay in the room. The nurse assured me that it would be O.K. but I assured her that it most certainly would not be. (By the way my Mom is still doing great, it is going to be a long haul but she is being a real trooper). Anyway, I went for a little walk to the other end of the eighth floor. There were windows where I could look out on Montesano Mountain and see most of the valley on that side of Huntsville. It was such a hot and humid day that the view was not as beautiful as it could be and yet there was a great deal to take in.

That is when I noticed the air conditioner units on top of the building and the lights that helped the helicopter land right above us. I got to thinking about the hospital and how incredibly awesome it was that it all worked together. There are so many people with individual responsibilities that make up the efficiencies of the hospital as a whole. I doubt that the outpatient receptionist has any clue what it takes to land a helicopter. The nurses in ICU would not know where to start to prepare lunch for thousands of people each day. The skilled but busy anesthesiologist can not comfort and care for a patient like a nursing assistant can. No matter how skilled a surgeon is he does not want to deal with the money raising activities that are handled by the marketing department. I am sure many of these people don’t even know each other and yet they all work at Huntsville Hospital.

Such is our life in the kingdom. We should not even think that we should be able to do it all. We have a special and unique gift and we should find our “profession” even inside the kingdom to work and serve for God. At the same time we will sometimes out grow our position. The nursing assistant wants to work up to being a registered nurse. Perhaps the cafeteria worker will apply for a job in admissions or record keeping. But the truth is they can’t do both jobs at once. It is great to find new ways to serve and to work in the kingdom as well. We can’t do it all. We shouldn’t try to.

This post is really a form of justification on my part. I have felt embarrassed when people have told me that they were thinking of me and how much I have on me. I simply have not felt overwhelmed (most of the time). I actually feel guilty because I am not doing more. I have always worked better under pressure; I tend to get more done. I guess my point is that in my personal life I KNOW that I am the grandmother, not the mother. I come in and help as much as I can, but then I leave. I am the daughter, but my Dad will be the primary care taker for my Mom. I will come in and help out, I will offer support and assistance, but then I will leave. I am honored to have people who depend on me in their lives, and I know I don’t do as much as I could, but I do what I can. I also take time to play with my grandson, I work in some tennis (OK David, a lot of tennis), I have my walking, talking, exercising with Terri, and I have a full time job. Sure, I don’t cook, I don’t clean much, I never iron, I sometimes forget to go to the post office and pick up the bills to pay, but all in all I keep it in balance. If I tried to do all of those things I could not do the things that are really important right now.

I do regret that I have had to give up teaching a class at church and I hope to get back to that soon, but I think I have learned that I can’t be involved in everything that comes along. I have to prioritize even in my church life. I cannot and will not let others make me feel guilty for not participating in an event. You should not either. God will not give us more than we can bear, but we sometimes have to know when to throw things off of our backs.