Joyful Transformation

Last night I woke up, not to the sound of thunder, but to a hacking cough that wouldn’t stop. It was kind of interesting because I was in the middle of a really strange dream. I guess it is true that the images of the day march across your mind and try to make some kind of sense in a sleeping state, but this series of dreams bothered me. It bothered me because it brought to mind several things I had read yesterday about following or giving up on a dream. Why would this bother me? I was suddenly plagued with the thought that while I would encourage others to never give up on their dreams, I had refused to nurture my own dream and have managed to keep it pushed far back into my sub-conscience mind. I think I have substituted a somewhat satisfying activity for the true dream that I have always had for my life.

So I laid in bed wide-eyed trying to find an angle that would inhibit my cough and thought about what I was going to do about this. As is usual for my middle of the night ponderings no great epiphanies appeared. Even if they had I would not be able to remember them in the light of day. But I did come to the realization that the pursuit of a dream is not a lazy man’s task (or woman). If this pursuit was worthwhile it would take much work on my part. To be able to commit to this type of work I would have to surrender some of my time currently devoted to other pursuits.

So, do I give up blogging to pursue writing? Or do I use blogging as a preview of my writing? Or do I do both to some extent? I am not sure. However, I am leaving tomorrow for the beach, the place that inspires all great ideals and commitments for me. Hopefully when I return I will have an answer for you….more importantly I will have an answer for me.