Joyful Transformation

Armadillos are an amazing group of animals that originated in South America. The most easily recognized feature of an armadillo is its shell. All armadillos have shells, made of true bone, that cover their backs. Most armadillos also have bony rings or plates that protect their tails. Because their backs are covered with bone, armadillos are not very flexible. They rely on speed or their digging ability to escape danger.

What I have been wondering is why these animals are moving north. A few years ago you could only see these in LA (that is Lower Alabama) on the way to and from the beach. Now they have become a common sight around here. You may even remember a little story I told of one that interrupted our sleep one night.

In the last week or so I have seen a half-dozen of these animals dead on the highway. What's up with that? Is it open season on armadillo's?

I guess in our world we have to move beyond the areas that are native or comfortable to us. Sometimes the transition will not be pleasant....sometimes it can be down right deadly. The armadillo also shares with us an outer shell. While ours may not be as obvious it does often cause us to be inflexible.

While I resect the armadillo for branching out of his comfort zone, I don't wish to be known for my hard outer shell, and I certainly don't want to be known for a lack of flexablility

Can you toss a ball up and catch it? I bet you can even keep two going pretty good; throw-catch, throw-catch. But when you add in that third ball chances are you are not going to do so well. I never could juggle. I tried but I just don’t have what it takes to keep three balls in the air at the same time.

Today when I was talking to my husband I related to him that adding the third baby in the mix was a lot like juggling for me. I could keep two going just fine, but I am afraid with three I might just drop them all if I am not careful. We are very lucky the babies are healthy and happy, but this three hour feeding, changing, burping, sleeping schedule is unbelievably hard to keep up with. When you finish with the last baby you have maybe an hour and half before it starts over.

But, I will be honest with you; there is nothing I would rather be doing. Three little babies have captured my heart and wrapped me around their little fingers. Sometimes I wonder how God could love so many people at once, but I get a little taste of it when I look into these three adorable faces. My eyes fill with tears just thinking about it.

Love is a marvelous thing, Grace is even better, both are blessings of our Father.

• Does anyone else notice that people are less and less interested in developing a reputation of being personally responsible? If I work for someone or have made a commitment to do something (even if it is to play tennis) I am going to do my VERY BEST to fulfill that commitment. I care about the people I will let down if I don’t fulfill my part and I try to put their feelings ahead of my own. It appears to me that I am in the minority in the way I think here.

• Is there a direct line from your nose to your memory? The sweet smell of honeysuckle blooming takes me back to some carefree days. We actually sucked the sweet nectar from the blooms. Do you guys do that in other parts of the country? I hate that the “hedge” blooms at the same time; it attacks my sinus allergies making Tylenol Sinus an absolute necessity. The lotion, shampoo and even the diaper wipes we are using for the babies also trigger many memories.

• A couple of people are relating their story in segments on their blog. I truly enjoy reading and look forward to each new installment. I just wonder if I even have a story to tell…..that bothers me.

• I can get on my soap box about having a relationship with God and knowing Jesus is more important than your church affiliation. And I believe this. However, I sometimes sense that the lack of attention to one will directly affect the other. Not always…..but sometimes.

• I KNOW that I am doing what God would have me to do when I am helping my daughter with her sweet babies. However, maybe because it is such a pleasure, I have to remind myself to not feel guilty because I am not “doing” anything. How messed up is that?

I think it is a gift from God to be able to enjoy each phase of our lives. I am enjoying this one. Those babies are so sweet. I love to hold them and kiss their little heads. They know when someone is holding them that loves them and they respond with sweet smiles or sometimes they just relax and …..fill up their diaper! Oh well, that is all part of being a baby. I guess the best part of this phase is that when I am totally exhausted I can go home take off my clothes and crawl into my own bed. I will then sleep uninterrupted until an alarm clock goes off. Yeah, that is the best part!

At the same time each joy brings sacrifice. Terri is off to the beach…..I don’t know when I will go to the beach again. David and I had planned a trip for our wedding anniversary next month….we will just have to see. I wanted to help with the move to the new church building this week, but I can only stretch myself so thin. The weather has been fabulous here since Saturday, but I barely notice if it is day or night. I know these moments are precious and few and I am trying to devote my whole self to enjoying them while they last.

My blog reading is very sporadic. I am trying to keep up with my posting, selfishly, to help me remember all of this when it is said and done. Thanks again for all of your prayers and just for checking up on me. Who knows? Maybe tomorrow I will have some true words of wisdom.

I was going to be clever and witty and type something about the last being first and the least being the greatest and all that.....but I am currently in a sleep deprived state.

Alissa, the youngest, the smallest, came home Saturday. Big brother followed on Sunday. We are hoping Ava will make it on Wednesday.

I think she looks like she knows she has pulled off something clever...

To all my friends near or far I wish for you a peace-filled weekend. Find God where you are and walk with him. He is able to meet all of your needs and to fill your heart with peace. Joy may be out of reach at the moment, but he will give you peace. I hope you will feel his peace, his love and my love as well.

I am trying to remember if I have blogged about this before, but if I can’t remember maybe you can’t either. A few years ago my employer decided that I needed to take a Dale Carnegie class. My preconceived notions of the course were that it was to increase your self-confidence and your ability to speak before a crowd. My humble opinion of myself at the time told me that I needed either, but taking the course did not seem to be optional. So me and one my best friends from work (who was a minister, how did he need this?) signed up. What we found were people who were literally scared to death to get up and say a few words in front of a group of people. What it turned into was a place where people would get up with new resolve and tell you things that were very private and had caused them great pain. One lady spoke of her son who had told her he was gay and had been alienated from the family. She told of how she missed him and longed to make contact again. One lady who was also a co-worker told of her alcoholic father and how she had to not only take care of him in his drunkenness but had to make excuses for him and the neglect that was going on in their home (outside of this class I would have not had a clue). My friend and I were flabbergasted at the stories that were told. When our turns would come we would have some polite but humorous story that would make them think we were sharing, but we knew how to build walls in our story. We both already had community that we shared with. We saw this as a professional experience. I think we were pretty much alone in that.

I thought of that today because I was thinking about the one thing I took from Dale Carnegie that was actually beneficial to me. It was “Make peace with the worst thing that could happen and then work the problem expecting the best outcome." (paraphrased). If you know me you know I will get on my soap-box about not worrying. I am a positive person, but I am also a realistic person. Sometimes we go around trying to preach a “Don’t worry, be Happy” religion. Paul warned us that we needed to move from milk to meat in our spiritual food. But sometimes milk can even be good if you get some bran cereal in it. If you are only putting Fruit Loops in your milk though, you will realize that you are still hungry. Why do we try to feed people on this kind of food? Are we afraid the weightier matters will scare people off?

People opened up in that Dale Carnegie class for a reason. They were hurting. They were suffering and they were scared. They needed to know that it was OK to feel this pain and were relieved to have found a group that they felt they could share this with. Yes we cheered each other on and encouraged each other, in that way we were a source of positive feedback. But we never cheapened the emotions and the real hurts of people by telling them to “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”.

Four jobs you've had in your life:
1. Burger King
2. Bank Proof Operator & Teller
3. Analyst at an Investment Bank
4. VP of Operations at a bank

Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. The Princess Bride
2. Six Days and Seven Nights
3. The Incredibles (Just ask Matthew)
4. Any of the Die Hard Movies

Four TV shows you love to watch: (love might be too strong a word for my TV watching.)
1. American Idol
2. Whose Line is it Anyway
3. CSI- only the original
4. 24- although we are going to have to do this year on DVD....got behind

Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Gulf Shores Alabama
2. Destin, Florida
3. 5 Carribean Cruises
4. Orlando Florida

Four websites you visit often:
1. CNN-Money
2. NASCAR.com
3. Bloglines
4. Google

Four of your favorite foods:
1. Pasta
2. Chicken biscuit at Chik fila
3. Chicken Chimechanga
4. Outback Ribeye Steak.....

Four places you would rather be right now:
1. The Beach
2. On A Cruise
3. Las Vegas
4. Italy


So, did you find out anything you didn't already know about me..???

Today I was looking at my pinky. I have a scar on the inside of my little finger on my left hand. Back when I used to do weights on a regular basis I dropped a 25 pound plate and it squashed my little finger. ( I was putting them in front of a machine to prop my feet against to do rows for my back). The finger actually burst open as opposed to being cut. It hurt. It don’t hurt anymore (it was about 15 years ago), but when I look at the scar I remember the pain. I have handled weights more carefully since then too.

I am sure you have many scars on your body as well. They all probably tell a story; some of your carelessness, some of your luck, some maybe the result of someone else. All of them left a mark on you though, and most of them left you with a lesson learned.

I have internal scars too. I have places that if I let my mind go there I will see the scar and remember the hurt. Oh, the hurts have healed and I hardly think about them at all. But once in while something will remind me and I will revisit that particular pain.

I think God made our skin to scar to remind us to stay away from the things that hurt us. I am sure he gave us memories for the same reason

Yesterday I thought I was going to the hospital, but Diana wanted to wait and go with Joe, so I decided they needed a night with their babies alone……thus I had no plans!
I went home, grabbed the book I am reading and spent a good hour reading, and enjoying the lake in the late afternoon sunshine! Go ahead, be a little jealous because it was GREAT!!

Yesterday one of the blogs I read quoted an article about removing clutter and getting organized. You might remember I sang the praises of the book “Getting it Done”. I jumped in their and organized and made my list and got an in-box as well as a tickler system going…..and then, you got it, I went right back to doing things the way I always did. But I am nothing if not persistent!

So today I am making a new resolve. I am going to remove clutter. I don’t think I can get organized without getting rid of a bunch of things that distract me. Some of these things are not bad in themselves but are just not good for me. This is not something I am going to do with JUST my closets….although I am going to do it to my closets….but I am going deep, deep into my life. There are memories, ideals and attitudes that I need to get rid of. There is a time to fish and a time to cut bait……I will be cutting bait.

Details will follow…..for now I am going to play tennis!

I like new things. I like to open the jar of peanut butter and be the first to dip into its creamy softness. I like to wear new clothes and new shoes (if they don’t hurt my feet). I want a new tennis racket, not necessarily because I need one, I just want a new one. It is not just the big things (not that peanut butter is big) but I like new toothbrushes and razors too. Yesterday at a routine stop in Wal-Mart I purchased both; new razors for me and David and new toothbrushes.

Opening and using the new toothbrush was an uneventful experience. My teeth just felt a little extra clean last night. This morning I opened the new razors. I had noticed yesterday that the legs were looking a little scraggly. A couple of spots had been left out completely. So this morning I decided to spend a little extra time in the shower and do a really good job on my legs. Wow, this new razor was great. All was going well until I remembered that my ankles were especially prone to missing the head of the razor. I went after the outside of my right ankle with authority….evidently the same kind of authority used to circumcise young males. My ankle is now missing a good little chunk of skin. It bled and bled. I even had to resort to using a Band-Aid to staunch the flow of blood. Looking at it now is not quite as traumatic as thinking about it. I have always been able to freak myself out by thinking about razor cuts. I physically cringe when I think of some of the cuts I got when I first started shaving with those single razor blades. The whole front of my shin bone would often look like a skinned animal.

Well, I will survive this little mishap associated with my new blade. But I had to think (because you know I MUST make an analogy) that the same concepts are true in life. When we try and correct a problem we often end up sacrificing things that were perfectly fine before. I am sure that there are many applications that could be made, but I am thinking that my ankle will be sore and inconvenienced for a while. But it will be OK. In the meantime, the job was done in removing the eye-sore that had grown in the region. But to be fair, I also must mention that sometimes we have to be less gung-ho with new things. We have to gently introduce things so as not to damage that which is healthy.

So do you have any phobias that can cause you physical discomfort to think about like I do with razors???

Yesterday was the last day of worship at our 9th Street location. I suppose this is somewhat sad. This is the church building that my children grew up in. It is the building my son was baptized in. It is the building my daughter was married in. There are many memories attached to this building, but when it is all said and done, it is just a building. The end was anti-climatic for me anyway. Matthew keeps me reminded that there are new adventures, new things to do and see. He was my tour guide to show me all things yesterday. But it was a blessing to be there on Easter with David, Derek, Mary and Matthew. In a few months we can fill a whole pew with Diana, Joe and the triplets. God has truly blessed our family.

It was a day of going. We left church and came back to our house to change clothes and give Matthew his Easter Basket. Then we went to eat lunch with my Mom and hid some Easter Eggs there. We left there and went to David’s mothers to visit for a while. Then David and I dropped off Derek, Mary and Matthew and proceeded to Birmingham to see the babies. Today was Alissa's first day in an open crib. Hopefully Ava will move soon. More importantly maybe they will all be coming home soon.

I am reminded today of the serious side of life. My Mom & Dad and my Mother-In-Law are all dealing with health issues. I was hoping my Mom was going to be able to help out with the babies some. But she is struggling to get around herself. My Dad is very worried about her, and he is not much better off. I guess it is just that he is used to her being the strong, healthy one. I know that God will not give me more than I can bear, but I sometimes wonder how I am going to manage. But worrying about it will not accomplish a thing. I will just pray for wisdom and strength and be confident that He will bless me with both.

I try hard to enjoy the beautiful family filled days in my life. Memories are being made and times together are to be cherished. Sometimes I just have to remind myself to take it all in….

I enjoyed all of your comments to A Good Mimi this week. I could feel the nostalgia bubbling up in each of you as you remembered times with your grandparents. Your comments reminded me of many more stories of my own grandparents, but I will save them for another time. If you didn't get in on the original and have a great memory please share it. I truly treasure all of your stories.

You know on the Saturday following the death of Christ the Jews were observing the Sabbath. They were forced to spend time with family and to block out the distractions of the outside world. I wonder why as we observe many of the traditions of the original Passover in our Easter celebrations, why we do not spend the Saturday as a Sabbath day. Instead we are rushing off to make last minute preparations for tomorrow. Buying a little more Easter Candy or some fresh eggs to color. We are in line with the folks at Target or Wal-Mart adding a little more stress and a little less cash to our already stretched thin lives.

If I could find the "best" thing to pass on to my grandchildren, perhaps it would be the ability to put life on pause and just be still......Of course, I will need someone to show me how first.

I had a few minutes on this beautiful Saturday to spend at the computer, but I don't expect to be back, so to all of you who are my cherished friends, whether or not I have met you face to face; you have shared in my life and given me glimpses into yours, I would like to say

Happy Easter!!
Praise God, He Arose!

And when I think
That God his son not sparing
Sent him to die
I scarce can take it in
That on the cross
My burden gladly bearing
He bled and died
To take away MY sin.

Then sings my soul
My Savior God to thee
How Great thou art
How Great thou art!

Me and Matthew...He likes my new phone that takes pictures...sure the quality is not as good as my other camera, but it is a lot of fun.

I was trying to think what I needed to do to make me special. You know all grandmothers have that "thing". My Grandmother Wallace always had Juicy Fruit gum in her purse. (Of course she couldn't understand why anyone would want more than half a piece.) My Grandma Tucker had a drawer where we could find Hershey's Kisses with the dish towels. Both things were pretty cool to us grand kids.

Right now when Matthew sees me he wants to "botch my teebee". Yes he likes to sit in the Tahoe and watch a movie, I think his favorite is The Incredibles (but maybe it is my favorite so it is the only one I leave in the car) Another thing he likes is those "Ice-Breaker" candies that come in the little tin that looks like a snuff can. He will eat those until it makes him sick if we let him. I try to keep gummy worms at my house for him. I guess that is a good thing to have at "the Lake".

So do you have any suggestions? Did your grandmothers have that "one" thing?

Sometimes you have to make tough choices. Neither choice is clearly bad or good but you nonetheless are forced to decide. Today that choice was- do I catch up on reading everyone’s blog, or do I blog myself- I think you know what I chose. **update- I was able to do both!! Woo-Hoo**

I have never been to a sunrise service at Easter. I would really like to go to one. I don’t know who has one in my area, but I am sure with a little checking I can find one to attend.


When my children were small Easter was one of my favorite holidays (I am sure it will be again with FOUR grandchildren!) While we never recognized or celebrated it from a religious standpoint I loved to color and hide eggs for them. We would hide plastic eggs in the house for weeks after Easter was over.

There is just something in us that longs to find that which is lost or even hidden. I mean we go to extremes to try and find out peoples secrets and who hasn’t stopped and spent time looking for Waldo? Perhaps this is part of our nature because we are longing to return to that state of walking with God that existed in the Garden before the fall. We know there is something more, something greater that we were designed to be and to achieve.

Today we think of that last Passover meal that Jesus shared with his disciples. We are humbled by the fact that he washed their feet AND that he told them to do this for each other. He never asked anything of us that he was not willing to do FOR us. His message is not hidden. His love was not a secret. His sacrifice and his shame as he took on all of our sins was played out in front of everyone. Sometimes we are like that Easter egg that is in plain view that the children keep walking past. God must want to shout at us “Just look up! It is right in front of your face!”

On her 17th birthday my daughter and her daddy went to the animal shelter to adopt a kitten for her. She named him Bert- because she got him on her Bert-day…the day she was Bert.(family joke). This has been her baby for the last 5 ½ years. But to get ready for the babies to come home she knew he had to go outside. Now this cat has never lived outside and is a little…spoiled. Well like every intelligent feline when set loose he immediately goes out to the dog pen and is chased up a tree by the dogs. Nothing will convince this stupid cat, I meant sweet animal to come down. Diana called me yesterday asking who she should call…..it upset her that Mom did not know the answer. I think it upset her more that Mom was not real concerned. “If he gets hungry enough he will come down”…..not the right thing to say to a hormonal mother who is already feeling guilty for giving her “baby” the boot.

Anyway, at 8:30 last night when they got home from the hospital she called to talk to her Daddy about this. He offered her much the same advice that I did, but unlike me he fretted and stewed because she was upset. He loaded our extension ladder and headed to her house (25 minutes away) and rescued the cat. His little girl was very grateful that once again her Daddy had saved the day.

How many times do we fret, worry and look for answers in all the wrong places before we turn it over to our Father….who truly wants to help us?

Today my vote for favorite technological advance would go to "spell check". (of course tomorrow it may be Satellite TV/Radio/Internet.....)

How about you?

Whether or not you follow NASCAR you have probably heard about the little “cat” fight in the pits this weekend. Seems Greg Biffle’s girlfriend got really mad when Kurt Busch took her honey out in the race. She made her way over to Busch’s pits and told his little girl friend off…..No hair pulling, no hitting, just a friendly confrontation brought on by frustration and anger. Michael Waltrip compared it to soccer and baseball Mom’s who just get so involved in supporting their man/child that they can’t help but express that emotion. I think he may be on to something. But to be fair this has been a season of high emotions; Gordon got mad and pushed Kenseth down. Tony got scared and talked about somebody getting killed. (then proceeded to chase down and wreck Jeff Gordon…I loved it). My new favorite “bad-boy” Kevin Harvick trash talked Kurt Busch vowing to get even with him if he got in his way. Yep, lots of emotion you might even say a lot of passion.

Oddly enough this morning my Lent devotional was on passion. Jesus’ ministry went from teaching, preaching, healing and moving to wherever he wanted to go to being handed over. Once he was handed over he was beaten, crowned with thorns, spat at, laughed at, stripped and nailed to a cross. This is where his passion begins and he fulfills his vocation.

Nouwen states that it is important to remember that Jesus was not able to fulfill his mission by what he did but rather by what was done to him. In the same way our lives are determined more by what is being done to us and thus is passion. Only small parts of our lives are determined by what we think, say or do (no matter how much we protest) and passion is a much greater part of our lives than action.

What do I do with this? Do I give up my thinking, acting self and give in fully to what others “do” to me? I don’t think so. But I do think we must embrace the passion in our lives. I think that we long to. I think we are passionate people and the reason many of us feel incomplete is because we have not found the way to embrace and express the passion inside. The axis of our lives is the emotions we feel along the way, the happiness, embarrassment, anger, frustration, devotion and love. While I am not advocating that we get into fights or shoving matches, I do think it is vital for us to realize how our passions shape our lives..

I have been struggling with knowing how best to live my life as a disciple of Jesus. I have asked God for wisdom and clarity and have tried to be still and listen (sometimes impossible in my life). It is easy to look in the rear-view mirror and see how I might have gotten off track though. I suddenly become concerned with problems that were long ago put behind me. I tried hard to fit in with a group that is not taking me where I want to be spiritually. I become so dissatisfied with attitudes and traditions in my home church that I sometimes miss all the things that we do well, I sometimes forget that imperfect people make up the church “kingdom wide” so there will always be such problems. I try to find the person who can understand me and help me on this journey and I forget that Jesus is standing in front of me with his hand out, just waiting to lead me through the bumpy parts.

This morning I was reading my devotion for Lent before I went to the gym. Two lines spoke to me and my struggles. Somehow in the early, early morning it all made so much sense.

So worship becomes ministry and ministry becomes worship and all we say or do, ask for or give becomes a way to the life in which God’s compassion can manifest itself.

Beautiful day..

• Worship with my church family
• Studying and reflecting on Palm Sunday
• Lunch with my son and his family
• Winning at tennis with a good friend
• Catching the end of the race
• and the end of the Master's (watching Mickelson show his love for his family)
• spending a gorgeous evening at home.
• Oh! And we are getting a refund on our taxes!!!

Did I mention this is the next to the last Sunday in our old building? We will be moving the Sunday after Easter. Details to follow.

Hope you had a great day too!

Sometimes when I am reading a lot of blogs and see the quality of the writing that is out there I get discouraged. I can’t even come up with much to say most days and the delusion that I will “wax eloquent” with my words has left me. So what do I do to offset this set-back? Do I give in and quit? Do I work harder on what I am writing or perhaps even take a course? No. I just go back and read some of what I have written, last month, last year or the year before and I realize, that while I DO care if you like what you read here, ultimately I do this for me. I love to go back and read what I have written to see where I have been.

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Guess what? I have finished my TAXES!!!!

I like to go back and read the parts of a book that struck me enough to underscore and/or highlight. The following is taken from “Searching for God Knows What”….(but not in the same chapters).

If we stop reducing the text (of the Bible) to formulas for personal growth, we can read it as stories of imperfect humans having relations with a perfect God and come to understand the obvious message He is communicating to mankind. A person could read the Bible, not to become smart but rather to feel that they are not alone that somebody understands them and loves them enough to speak to them, on purpose-in a way that makes a person feel human. It is a striking thought to realize that, in paradise, a human is incomplete without a host of other people. We are relational indeed.

This morning on Fox & Friends they were talking about a manager at Starbucks who also performed in a band that did knock-offs of Motley Crew. Well it seems that Tommy Lee couldn’t show for a scheduled performance and they asked this guy to play drums for them! How cool is that.

So the question is, if you could have a “dream job” for just one day what would it be? I will go first. (Would anyone choose Cynthia McKinney?)

>>>My serious intellectual self would want to be Condaleza Rice for a day.

>>>My fun loving risk taking self would like to be Dale Earnhardt Jr. He not only gets to drive a race car extremely fast, he co-host a TV show and has a weekly radio show. I just think he has a fun and adventure filled life.

Allright!! I had a few extra minutes before I am off to Huntsville to play tennis and I am CAUGHT UP on reading your blogs! I read many in bloglines and did not comment much but I think I am up to date! So if everyone will just post short things tonight maybe I can stay up!

Yesterday while playing tennis in B'ham I had the most unusual experience. I could smell something that smelled like the film from Polaroid One Step cameras! I have no clue what was producing that smell, but man it took me back to being a teenager with that crazy camera! Isn't it strange how smells can totally propel you to another place and time.

I used to have a pair of jeans that I just loved. I wore them whenever and wherever I could. Eventually they developed a couple of holes in them. There was one frayed place of the back of my thigh that just kept growing. In my mind it added character to an already great pair of jeans. In my daughter’s mind, I was dressing like a hobo. She was around 13 or 14 at the time and suddenly pitched a fit anytime I put on my beloved pants. Well, I figured I could prolong the life of this treasure by cutting them off and making shorts out of them. Now, I had a favorite pair of shorts. I wore them until the waistband actually begin to fray. I am not sure if I eventually gave up and threw them away or if David or Diana did it for me but at some point they were no longer part of my life.

Isn’t it amazing how we enjoy something that is comfortable to us? Long after the appeal and at some point even the functionality had left, I refused to let go, to move on.

I am kind of like that with the mask I wear. Perhaps there are times when it is useful to be a different person in different situations. Perhaps there is true value to limiting personal exposure when you work with and for the public. But just like those jeans, eventually the mask will get frayed. It is no longer attractive or acceptable but just something you know you need to get rid of.

Yesterday in my reading for Lent I read, “He became like us so that we may become like him”. Any masks that we wear should only be mirrors that reflect the one that is living in us. The Holy Spirit is continually transforming our lives. We can’t help but grow and evolve if we fully belong to him.

But I am not perfect. I have failed and continue to fail in many ways. I seem to forget that if I could do it on my own Jesus would not have had to come and take my place. I forget that YOU fail too! Why do I forget that? Because you are wearing your mask, showing me only what you want me to see. When we begin to share our struggles, when we can truly be known as who and what we are, then we can take hold of the life changing power of the cross and live our lives free to love.

In the tradition of a girl who likes to make up the rules as I go (and then bend or break them as I deem necessary) I am changing my monthly reading report to a quarterly report. Since I missed last month (due to circumstances beyond my wish to control) and since summer is upon us and my reading becomes more sporadic, and since this is the end of the quarter anyway….I am changing to quarterly.

Needless to say now that the babies have arrived and I spend any spare minutes going to see them my reading has taken a hit, but I am still managing to follow along in a couple of books.

Books completed in February and March:

A Love Worth Giving- Max Lucado
Classic Max- good book with some great thoughts on love.

Cure for the Common Life: Max Lucado
We studied this for our Wednesday night class. I enjoyed it and took some great practical lessons from the book.

Mudhouse Sabbath- Lauren F. Winner
My first of her books. I really enjoyed this. It gave me a different perspective of the Jewish traditions and helped propel me into the observance of Lent this year.

The Story We Find Ourselves In- Brian McLaren
I love this entire series. There is much in this book that has challenged my thinking, much of it I can not reconcile to what I read. But I love to be challenged and to re-think some old traditions that are just that....traditions.

Velvet Elvis- Rob Bell
I LOVED this book. I hesitated to read it because of the title...silly I know, but I don't know what I thought it would be about. I will read this book again, soon!

The Problem with Pain- C.S. Lewis
My least favorite of the C.S. Lewis books that I have read. I struggled to get through this one. But as usual he had some great thoughts.

Mary, Mary- James Patterson (Fiction)
Gotta love the Alex Delaware series....fast read.

Books in Process

Captivating- John Eldridge
Terri and I are going to do a study on this over the summer, so I am holding off on it till then.

Searching for God Knows What- Donald Miller
I love the way Donald Miller writes. I am thoroughly involved in this book, I look forward to every minute I have to read it.

Mere Discipleship- Lee Camp
I am really enjoying this book too. I probably should not have started so many more while reading it, but the type is really small and the lighting in the hospital was making it very hard for me to read. I think I am going to have to finish it in my reading chair with my reading lamp.


The Inner Voice of Love- Henri Nouwen
is a collection of passages from Henri Nouwen's journals, written during a period when his self-esteem evaporated, his energy to work disappeared, and God seemed entirely unreal. This is not a book to be read straight through: each short chapter takes time to digest, because, like the following passage, each of Nouwen's thoughts has the raw complexity of real honesty:

Show Me the Way- Henri Nouwen
Daily Lenten Readings, that even though I got started late on I am thoroughly enjoying. I also enjoy reading Craig's interpretation from his reading each day.

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So this is just a little of what is going into my head. I guess you get to read what comes out of it on other days.....I am sure none of these authors would like to take any responsibility for that!

Is it just me or are the weekends getting shorter and shorter? Of course this one was an hour shorter. I almost freaked out when I looked at the clock in the gym this morning and it said 4:30!! Saturday was spent going to the funeral and then on to see the babies. When we got there Diana was holding all three of them; a perfect photo opportunity. David finally got to hold one too. They are growing and doing great.

Yesterday Terri was kind enough to go with me to Crossbridge. We stopped after church to allow me the chance to see the babies for a few minutes. We had a great time and a very uplifting worship experience. I love that in the family of God you can feel right at home in a place you visit occasionally. Gary spoke to many of my struggles today and the love of this church for each other always encourages and motivates me.

After stopping by the hospital we headed back to Cullman. Then I was off to play tennis in Decatur. It was a losing effort on my part, but I played OK and it was a beautiful day to be on the tennis courts. By the time I got home and got my clothes ready for today it was time to go to bed. Man, I miss that hour!

With the combination of death and the continued celebration of birth, my mind has gone in a million different directions this weekend. It is overwhelming at times when you realize that decisions that you make have a trickle down effect on others. When I analyze the choices I make I know that many of them are very selfish. It is hard when you realize that the best thing for you may not be the best thing for the rest of your family. Anyway I am praying more and more for wisdom and clarity as well as vision in making choices. I know that God will provide when I am diligently seeking him and his will.

Learn to say no; it will be of more use to you than to be able to read Latin.



Charles Spurgeon

I love to spend time with my cousins. It is amazing that no matter what is between the book-ends you can pick up and relate to each other. The joking and poking fun flows freely. I think this bond is more about shared history, whether good or bad than anything else. The problem is that it seems the only time I get to see them is at the funeral home.

My aunt moved on to a better place this past Thursday. Last night was spent at the funeral home and the funeral will be today. These occasions are bittersweet. Everyone enjoys seeing each other but the certainty of our paths becomes clearer with each passing. The group of cousins my age somehow feel that we are still the "young guns", but reality is that we have taken over as the middle age group. We are burying our parents.

I wish that we could find a way to spend time together between these sad occasions, but the reality is that we are all busy with our lives. We do enjoy seeing each other and being together, but partially this is because it is a break in our routines, a chance to revisit our past.

My heart hurts for the cousins burying their mother today. But I pray that they will find strength in their love for each other and the love of the family. I know that God will hold them close and shower them in his love....if they will let him. I will pray that he breaks into the hearts that have been hardened against him.